Thanks for reflecting lonely bee and my being. I will admit that my being is wonky right now.
The diet thing was one of the original reasons I was going to withdraw. I know it’s possible because I’ve done it before thanks to Nichole hosting me and letting me use her tupper ware so I can bring my own food. It just requires more prep and adds to my exhaustion level during those modules. I will continue eating healthy while I’m there. To balance my energy levels I’m going to arrive one day prior to module so I can settle in. That will be my consistent action around diet while I’m in San Diego.
How you can rely on me for the rest of the year is to see out the vision of diversity and inclusion in AC. One of the reasons I signed up for the name tents is so I can add pronouns to them. I will continue to talk through the disempowering experiences when they occur like I have with you and Jeff already. That was a breakthrough for me. Without those conversations I wouldn’t be re-enrolled in Program Coach. That was the foundation for me to move forward.
What I get on the other side of it is more emotional stability and physical energy stability. I’m committed to flattening out the roller coaster that runs my life currently and I will do that by trusting everyone’s intentions and that they got me back. With trust I can have intimate conversations (which for me means real conversations – not just the positive ones) and I can ask for me needs to get met to feel safe and part of the AC community. I’m also committed to taking on the action necessary to make AC more inclusive. I’d like to enroll everyone in introducing themselves to new people with pronouns. It’s not just an AC practice, it’s important in everyday life everywhere.
As far as spending the weekend with Lake, I hear you that you see she’s in a similar stuck place as me. I imagine there’s a fear that it will not be helpful to me or that spending time with her will pull me away from AC. Tell me if that’s off, I don’t have to be right. Lake is like family to me. She has invited me into a nourishing space that allows for me to slow down and be with family. That’s exactly what I need right now. We’re also starting a podcast together and we’re going to plan that out a bit more in person. This is my passion project and something in your enrollment to declare back into AC that I could create both visions in my life. I’ve been feeling lonely and depressed and I would really like to spend time with my soul sibling before I enter surgery.