Thanks so much for bringing this to team, because I don’t think you are the only one. Our brilliant teammate T said to me yesterday, I’m pretty sure the whole team is in overwhelm!
I also want to apologize that I haven’t had a chance to respond to the other thread where you shared with us whats going on in your life. I bring that here because its totally inside of my story of “I have to get to all of these things first.” Which is a pretty shitty way to think, and even a shitty thing to say, because each one of your lives thriving and you all being insanely happy and fulfilled is in my top priorities, and I get so caught up in getting things done and ensuring that everything is PERFECT for this program (by the way playing for that is a fools errand, especially since our work is amazing because of all the perfect imperfections), that what gets left off the list immediately is relationship, connection and intimacy. Of course thanks to my SM this isn’t coincidental, or mere happenstance. 🙂
You know what I think is so darn special and powerful about you is that even when you don’t see whats possible, you are at the ready to create it. I remember during your program year when we had the conversation around possibility and commitment and you brought something to team about not really believing that its all possible. And yet, you always act from this place, looking for how, what, when, where, etc. Like even in your own stops, you aren’t stopped.
I love what you already created with Jocelyn, and looking at your life and time as if its a puzzle, in which the pieces simply need to be moved about for them all to fit. I am happy to support you in whatever you need with accountability.
What I hear in all of this is that you are relating to it as a problem or something that is broken and needs fixing. From that context what you are left with is solutions, and not much else. And if those don’t work, its an endless parade of solutions trying to find the right one. What if you don’t relate to this as a problem and bad/wrong, but as _____? We create massive shifts in our lives when we are able to see out of our current contexts, because outside of them is the realm of possibility; inside we are just reminded whats wrong and how we are limited.
Thats where I would invite you to start!