Reply To: Absences & Team Breakdowns

 Brittany Cotton

Hey All,

I really like what Nichole put in about community and that we all need to be here to support each other, not to mention that one day it will absolutely be one of us in Sabrina, or T’s shoes and needing support and enrollment from team to miss a day or two. I think that this conversation is super important especially since I see this team living inside of a context that we can’t have it all. I am pretty sure we all have our own flavor of this, and I see creating both ands with our lives and AC as a great place for all of us to break this up.

I also want us to ALL have breakthroughs in enrollment. So what I really challenge this team to do/be for each other is yes absolutely support and create space for our team mates to have all of it, AND to not stop there. Support can look a trillion of ways, it can look like helping them figure out how to have their trip and be with team, it can look like challenging them to create the most badass enrollment ever, it can be to point out what contexts we here, etc. My stand for team is that we don’t simply “be enrolled to support.” But that we actually look at who the person is being, whats available for them, whats the context they are existing inside of, etc. This is where the freaking magic happens. Remember not being enrolled can be just as much support as being enrolled. This is our work. To challenge each other to go beyond where they would before, and in doing that for them, we do that for us.

T- I am fine with you missing Saturday and half of Sunday. (And remember all, on 4 day modules we get a half day break. So technically what you are actually missing by being on this trip is just Saturday.)

What I have for you outside of the content is the pattern and context I am seeing you bring. In each of your absences and enrollments you have been very clear and direct about what your current context would choose- “I can’t handle it= don’t go to PHX”. Thanks for doing the work to see the path of your stories/contexts. AND what I notice is that when we attach a consequence to a particular way of thinking or story, we often forget that thats not the only option. You could not be in “I can’t handle it” and still choose to cancel PHX, you could also be in I can’t handle it and still go, and about a million other things. You have been bringing your enrollments in this fashion, and it has me SUPER CURIOUS. Not from a place that I think you are doing so on purpose, but from– whats the function of this?? I haven’t totally distinguished this yet, but in the most simple way its a bit like… “if I choose this it will be a result of this disempowering context, so help me with this one so I can have a breakthrough.”

What I notice about this is it puts both you and team in a box. Either I do this, which is a lose/lose, or you help me so I can have this breakthrough.  Well of course we are going to have you choose the second option, because of course we want you to have a breakthrough in trust and support. I know its not your intention, but it has a scent of manipulation which I know is one your SMs favorite tools. My suspicion is your exhaustion and “I can’t handle this” has you create this binary. That being said, we actually aren’t having you disrupt or break it up, but we are feeding into it. My experience is that the “I can’t handle this” and “its hard” is actually running the show in this enrollment and post. And its masked as, “look see I don’t want to choose this, so help me not have too.”


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