I just got off my weekly call with Chelsea and it was so powerful and I want to share it with you.
I distinguished what occurs in my body when I’m triggered, my chest gets tight and painful. Chelsea walked me through a visualization of the last time I was triggered, and I fully created the body experience of that past incident, in the present moment. What I newly discovered is that once my chest tightens, I totally disconnect from the rest of my body, and I fall into a conversation solely between my head and chest.
I can see that I learned this REALLY early on in life. My moms family, who I spent a lot of time with as a kid, are emotionally explosive. Since I reflect on having grown up with deep emotional security, this didn’t totally add up for me. Then I realized that I was taught that emotion is okay up until a certain threshold, at that point, it’s safer to shut down, than to act from one’s body. So I taught myself….feel feel feel feel, WAIT, THIS MIGHT BE DANGEROUS, STOP FEELING. And what my SM did with this, was to practice being so scary and so sharp with my words, that I could hurt people before they could hurt me. I learned to relate to everything past this threshold of emotion, as Dangerous and Dramatic.
What I can see now, is that when I feel past the tightness in my chest, I can actually connect to something outside of my SM. I thought of my friend’s mom, Lee Ann, who is hosting 32 people (including me and Jack) for Thanksgiving tomorrow. I really struggle to Be With Lee Ann, she triggers the bajesus out of me. So I’ve been day dreaming about how Thanksgiving is going to go, playing out all these different potential scenarios – which is so annoying and such a waste of energy. Once I moved past the physical trigger in my chest, I connected to the opportunity to create how I want Thanksgiving to go. I’m going to buy her flowers and shower her with the gratitude she deserves for hosting this giant event. HOW COOL IS THAT?!
I’m excited to up level my self trust, and to Feel and be with Emotion through my entire body, and to respond to people from that place. Please hold me accountable by inviting me to check in with my body, when you sense, or know, that I’m triggered!
J – thanks for asking me to share and I’ll keep doing so. I’m going to start journaling my experience at the end of each session with Chelsea, and I’m happy to share as much or as little of that as you care to read!
Sabs – thanks for the invitation to take on both. I worked with Chelsea and Wendy for about two months, and I found the two in conflict. On the other end of 5 sample sessions, I hold Chelsea as The One for me and what I’m up to this year.