Wow this thread is pretty scrumptious, confronting—for a hot second it made me want to just dissipate and be like “bye”, but thats not what I actually want and I know this is true STAND.
I see what both of you are saying. T, I bring a different version of my power everywhere I go. My value is directly correlated with how much power I bring. If I perceive that I have lots of value, I speak up more, am engaged and present. Where I perceive that I have less value, I show up more timid, observant and become backseat leader. Not really serving me. It becomes a judgement game and hierarchy that is disempowering that empowering. I hear the call forth to stand in my power everywhere and see the value I bring in every interaction, conversation and moment.
Britt, yes this all feels familiar. It is a year old. And I am tired of it. In talking with my coach, we distinguished that I have enough awareness to last me the next 6 months. And what is insufficient is my presence and action. I often don’t know where the time goes or what I even do all day because I am half distracted, jumping from one thing and another and not intentional about my time. The conversation I need to be having is around structures. Structures to keep me focused, intentional and in action. Not being in integrity causes me so much angst. And yet, I distract or avoid doing the thing that would have me in integrity. I easily lose sight of what my big “what for” is. Dora the Explorer is never lost, she knows exactly where she is going. I know where I am going, I am committed to stopping all the distractions that get in the way of getting there.
So sufficient structures to take action and intentions is the conversation I need to be in. My default is to want awareness and figure out what context is getting in my way. There is nothing in my freaking way, just more action and to not let myself off the hook when I perceive I’ve done enough or gotten some results.