Hey team! Sorry for my absence these past few weeks. I was in my breakdown and got lost in about 2 weeks worth of AC emails (150 of them) and wanted to catch up on what was going on before coming here.
I can SEE the impact that my client breakdown had on the team, myself, the participants, Josh and everywhere in my life. It even affected Jazzy 🙁 And I am committed to not being in that drama again.
What I can distinguish about what made a difference for me was the right amount of pressure and action. There was a sweet spot last week where I had accepted what was going to happen (possible leave AC) and that had me in a place of unattached action. I was willing to try and do whatever. It was liberating, scary and had me open my eyes to how limiting I was seeing things. My intention is to create this for myself often for all the games I am playing. When I put too much pressure on myself, I self-sabotage and talk myself out of what needs to be done. When I am in insufficient action, the same happens. So I want to play with these two levels of things moving forward.
The other things I can distinguish was getting oodles of support from team. From the unattached place, I was willing to ask for anything, even if I thought it was absurd (which it wasn’t). And from that place, I felt held and safe, no matter what the outcome. I want to be able to provide this to others and continue getting this level of support. I see this as part of what this structure is about. Unconditional love and stand for you to have the life you want.
Love you and see you tomorrow!
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Juliana Sih.