This is really powerful Jeff. Thanks for creating it.
what I have been noticing more and more is that we are learning and practicing the same concepts and ideas over and over again. there is a deeper understanding and a more open way of relating to the same basic principles over and over. Each rhythmic cycle leads to getting cracked open a little bit more. See things in a new way a little bit more. Forgiving a little bit more. Trusting a little bit more. Pausing and playing slow is fast a little bit more. Loving a little bit more. And every time I can see possibility a little bit more. And it does seem infinite from this perspective.
my what for’s before starting AC and even until recently have been mainly from SM. From protection.
It’s never going to go the way it did when I was a kid so I better make as much money as I can as quickly as I can for fear i will be living in a van down by the river.
it’s never going to go the way it did with Julie so I better learn to be attractive and be able to control how things go in my next relationship for fear that I will spend 15 years committed to someone only to have the ultimate betrayal happen.
ots never going to happen again that I create suffering in Lillian so I better be the best damn dad on the planet.
enter the concept of coming from joy and what do I actually want not what am I protecting against.
and here it is.
- freedom of time. I want to be able to spend my time doing what I choose to do. All of my time. It’s our #1 asset.
- financial freedom. This plays into freedom of time because without the means to do what I want with my time, freedom of time is off the table. I want to have passive income that has me able to go where I want to and when I want to go. This is available through my rental properties and developing them further and acquiring new properties.
- redefine what self worth is and what is a healthy way to give and receive. In all areas. Am I holding my experience as whole and complete and worthy of standing for. Am I giving or receiving from a disempowered place. Am I being a people pleaser in service of some covert mission to get my needs met. Or am I being responsible with setting boundaries and giving and receiving from joy and love and gratitude.
- Be the best version of myself from parenting to friendships. Show up for Lillian from a place of influencing her to be her best self. Being a role model for all the kiddos in my life. Speaking my truth and being at integrity with what I know to be true and right. Influencing and drawing people into the positive, the light, to be responsible for there outcomes.
Be in the relationship of my dreams. Where the communication flows easily and trust is abundant. Where support and encouragement flourish. Be the person who is desired for who I am at my core. To see her at her core. The perfectly pure observer who was once a little girl and the defended self is just a way to feel safe. To feel felt. To be loved and loving unconditionally. To be able to generate relationship in even the most turbulent of times. To have sanctuary in the arms of my lover and to be the foundation of her desire. To allow space for autonomy without risk or threat to our relationship. To generate love and respect for each other when we are not with each other.
I see all of this on the other side of building my be with from letting go of my defense. Practicing relationship, enrollment, finding the win win, slow is fast, it’s all perfect, I’m right where I need to be, at cause, choosing complete over and over, and last but not least laugh and find joy in it all. #sliced bananas. 😂