Lesa last minute re-scheduled our call to support around money this morning. She said she was not in the right headspace (which is a pattern for her). We are going to connect tomorrow. I have been writing down the pattern so I don’t lose it and can accurately reflect it to her.
What I see for Lesa in how our coaching calls go is:
Lesa shows up disempowered (upset, angry, confused, overwhelmed) and GUILTY (she is late to the call, last minute rescheduled, disorganized, no check in, she didn’t do MOPA’s, she hates coaching, etc.)
Angry (blamey, righteous martyr, defensive, victim-y)
Getting back into relationship
Heard & Seen (I meet her with compassion, love and understanding- she feels seen, heard and validated, “me saying, you are allowed to have any experience you choose- you’re not crazy but yes this is a context, that is why it is everywhere and follows you into and out of everything no matter the circumstance- would you like to choose a different experience”)
Open to coaching and the gradient can slowly be raised over the course of the call
Design actions from an empowered place
Resist structures that will support those actions (because she doesn’t want to be ‘delusional’ and because ‘it’s just not realistic’ and ‘we will have to see how it goes’)
(Then I get off the phone with her, sigh and get ready for the pattern to begin again)
We are right at the start of the pattern now because she just last minute rescheduled today so I can anticipate that, predictably, this pattern will begin tomorrow for our money support call so I have the opportunity to change the pattern before I get sucked back into it!
Team! What do you see?! Please tell me!!! I need help!!!