Reply To: Participant T-Time Enrollment

Hey Team. First let me say above all that I’m so sorry that my ownership of this accountability has given you an experience of disappointment, frustration or a sense of putting our team in a position other than what is truly my commitment and my practice to be my word and be a leader in this program. I have zero intention to ignore, misinform, confuse or otherwise not care about the experience of our team or the participant team.
T, thank you so much for the ongoing partnership and call forth. These past few weeks have had me resetting a lot of my structures and I’ve been tracking gaps and working to close them – and there have definitely been some set backs. I will speak more to those details about my life and the structures I need given the shifting circumstances that I’m currently challenged by because I would like ya’ll to know what life is like over here (I’m sure you can imagine much of it!) and as Jeff reflected, I could use some support so I will bring a post about that by tomorrow (Monday). Britt, thanks for practicing leaning back and honoring your decelerating to bring me up with you! For anyone who I’ve enrolled in leaving me alone because I’m too busy, please get complete about how you’ve seen it go for me and your stories that I am incapable, too X or not enough Y, and then please bring me this: “Laura, you said XYZ. What’s the structure you need to put in place so that can happen?” or “you said XYZ. What structure do you need to reempower so that becomes a regular system for you?” The long and the short of it is I am living a big life with big circumstances and I don’t empower all the structures that I have sufficient to my big circumstances and my SM seduces me into truly believing that I have something handled because I do have THAT ONE THING or THAT ONE AREA handled – but there’s something I haven’t fine tuned yet as a structure to support IT ALL so it occurs like competing commitments and overwhelm. And now with covid-19 my shit is showing up big and tall like the rest of ours. #normal.
T, let me address your request that I “clean up” my initial response to the participants regarding us not being enrolled. Yea – I will completely own that I lagged waaaay long on responding! I first brought my voice to the thread by reflecting the opportunity to actually enroll us, and then I didn’t practice doing complete work. Here I see I could have created a vision for carrying through the conversation to the end as my accountability and I didn’t actually see that. This had me relating to each communication as separate from the final outcome and operating outside of relationship with you all as my team and with Bree and the participant team. My language wasn’t clear and I see that by saying we weren’t enrolled, it can be interpreted (especially to untrained ears and eyes) that we were saying no or otherwise not aligned. My intention was simply to say we weren’t enrolled yet because we hadn’t discussed it as a team – and in part I was hoping her team to show up per her request, but in my attempt to be simple and direct I left out critical information. And by waiting for her team’s voices before bringing it as a team conversation, I created last minuteness and overwhelm, which is what I hear you all pointing to as what doesn’t work (for any of us). T, What else do you need from me around this piece for it to be complete? Jeff, is there more from what you reflected that you see for me to own beyond this, or does this address it for you?
Regarding my communication with you on Friday, T (texts that came in late in my day), I see that I really wanted to process and honor your feedback and create space for it, but it drove up some incompletions for me and I received the way you brought your stand as a make wrong and I wasn’t going to respond to you about it from a complete place. So I didn’t actually have space in my evening to get back to you. I see it could have been less frustrating had I actually said that the first time. I’m so sorry for the added frustration that gave you!
As far as the T-Time itself, I see that we have a lot of possibilities here including that we get enrolled in Tuesdays 5-6:30pm per Bree’s post.
We still need to hear from Jeff, Charlie and Kerry, but it looks like all are willing to create around the shift and show up to Tuesdays at this time. Me too. I’ve enrolled Jeremy in this as well for this week, and will create it through April.
Is anyone not willing to align on this starting this week and through April?
If all are aligned, I will bring to the participant forum a post stating our enrollment, with a caveat request that they do and be what it takes as a team to have all teammates present for all April T-Time calls.
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