Absences & Team Breakdowns

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    Ok practicing simple and complete work over here.

    First, my experience of this thread is of us getting up under each other, being a demand for each other’s lives to work, businesses to thrive, leadership to grow. None of this works if we do have each other and have the team so LOVE Sabs bold risk, Jeff’s invitation to garbage can the garbage and keep the good stuff, T’s relentless And love-fueled call forth that I be my word – that’s how I want us to be with each other around IT ALL.

    Around absences in particular, I want team to look at and for the person’s breakthroughs. What serves and calls forth their next level around what we are playing for? It’s like if we were to look at how we want to be about yellow T-shirts….there wouldn’t be a one size or style fits all, but we’d look at what that person says they want and we’d talk about and get enrolled in that person wearing it or not inside of their specific stuff and with their specific gaps etc, cuz it doesn’t matter if we’re talking vacation, absences, or T-shirts, how we each bring a conversation around what we want is a realllllly rich place to look at having and creating what we want everywhere – and supporting other humans to do the same!

    T I am aligned with your absence this module, as you swung to come back with communication if this absence and have been swinging and owning and playing and communications and supporting. I’m not sure I’m enrolled in anything other than you, but my request going forward is that you just keep showing up like this – being enrolling and enrolling people and being for team and turning up your completion like it occurs you are doing. No more getting needs met sideways, no more surprise take outs, dramatic distractions.

    Lastly, I have an event in March that conflicts with Sat & Sun of Module 4 (March) and it’s an event that’s been on my calendar since May, which I neglected to catch when I turned in my attendance agreement. So! My intention is to get crystal clear on my desire for where my body, brain and heart will be those days and to create something with ample time with this team. In other words I’m calling it a declared absence and I intent to fully own enrollment around what I create there. Who will own me around this?



     Tiffany Turner

    Hey Laura – I noticed a few threads where you declared a follow-up post by EOD yesterday, and I didn’t see anything come in. I have it this might be a part of your breakthrough in Complete Work, or Full Ownership (I’m so sorry, you’ve told me about this thing, and I might have the verbiage wrong).

    This seems like a good place to practice calling you forward, and supporting what you need.

    Love you,



    Holler! A note to all that I’ve read through this – and I hear the invitation to create how we will be with each other in general and going forward, around T’s specific enrollment this module, and respond to Jeff’s call regarding gathering anticipated absences for modules that are forthcoming. It’s a rich thread and I will bring my voice to the various pieces by end of day!


     Brittany Cotton

    Hey All,

    I really like what Nichole put in about community and that we all need to be here to support each other, not to mention that one day it will absolutely be one of us in Sabrina, or T’s shoes and needing support and enrollment from team to miss a day or two. I think that this conversation is super important especially since I see this team living inside of a context that we can’t have it all. I am pretty sure we all have our own flavor of this, and I see creating both ands with our lives and AC as a great place for all of us to break this up.

    I also want us to ALL have breakthroughs in enrollment. So what I really challenge this team to do/be for each other is yes absolutely support and create space for our team mates to have all of it, AND to not stop there. Support can look a trillion of ways, it can look like helping them figure out how to have their trip and be with team, it can look like challenging them to create the most badass enrollment ever, it can be to point out what contexts we here, etc. My stand for team is that we don’t simply “be enrolled to support.” But that we actually look at who the person is being, whats available for them, whats the context they are existing inside of, etc. This is where the freaking magic happens. Remember not being enrolled can be just as much support as being enrolled. This is our work. To challenge each other to go beyond where they would before, and in doing that for them, we do that for us.

    T- I am fine with you missing Saturday and half of Sunday. (And remember all, on 4 day modules we get a half day break. So technically what you are actually missing by being on this trip is just Saturday.)

    What I have for you outside of the content is the pattern and context I am seeing you bring. In each of your absences and enrollments you have been very clear and direct about what your current context would choose- “I can’t handle it= don’t go to PHX”. Thanks for doing the work to see the path of your stories/contexts. AND what I notice is that when we attach a consequence to a particular way of thinking or story, we often forget that thats not the only option. You could not be in “I can’t handle it” and still choose to cancel PHX, you could also be in I can’t handle it and still go, and about a million other things. You have been bringing your enrollments in this fashion, and it has me SUPER CURIOUS. Not from a place that I think you are doing so on purpose, but from– whats the function of this?? I haven’t totally distinguished this yet, but in the most simple way its a bit like… “if I choose this it will be a result of this disempowering context, so help me with this one so I can have a breakthrough.”

    What I notice about this is it puts both you and team in a box. Either I do this, which is a lose/lose, or you help me so I can have this breakthrough.  Well of course we are going to have you choose the second option, because of course we want you to have a breakthrough in trust and support. I know its not your intention, but it has a scent of manipulation which I know is one your SMs favorite tools. My suspicion is your exhaustion and “I can’t handle this” has you create this binary. That being said, we actually aren’t having you disrupt or break it up, but we are feeding into it. My experience is that the “I can’t handle this” and “its hard” is actually running the show in this enrollment and post. And its masked as, “look see I don’t want to choose this, so help me not have too.”


     Jeff Miller

    Thanks T. I would love to collaborate and come up with a way to have yourself, team, and our participants fully supported and you still going to Phoenix. I totally get that from exhaustion and a splash of time context this seems out of reach or difficult. But it is not at all. I would be happy to support you on creating that, and I have it that from a complete place you totally have this. But that is what team is for. To remind us of who we are and to offer support. We totally got you!


    The discussion around absence enrollments and who are we going to be reminded of me of a time when I used to work for a large company. Some of us were parents and some were not. I remember having a discussion with a coworker who didn’t have kids or really much responsibility outside of work. He was frustrated that parents were given “more time off” because they had to stay home with sick kids or pick them up from school or whatever. He didn’t think it was fair and that he should get the same amount of time off. He referred to being “punished” for not having kids.

    Have you ever had this type of conversation with someone? I feel like we all have. Inequities creep up all over our lives.

    My response to him was that although he didn’t have kids to take care of, he was a kid once. And his parents were the ones taking those extra minutes/hours/days from work to take care of him. And that someday he might be taking the minutes/hours/days from work to take care of his parents. If we’re viewing it from the place of community and not individual, it’s a different conversation.

    Sabrina missed a half day for her leadership graduation. Heck yes! T missed a day and a half for a wedding. Who would want to miss an event that important? I don’t know what’s up with Phoenix, but I’m sure it’s a big deal to T.

    I personally wouldn’t want to miss any time unless it was something really important. I have it that we all want to spend as much time as possible with each other, our participants, and the work. Nobody wants to miss anything. So when we do, my inclination is to just be understanding and know that each of us will likely have something come up throughout the year that will take us away and we will want the team to support our absence.

     Tiffany Turner

    Sabs – thanks for the call forth. One of my growth edges is to bring things sooner, so please continue to call on me when you see me hiding.

    Team, I posted on forum last week requesting support around my absence at module 2. Nichole and LKT have shared what they see for me, and I’d love to hear from the rest of team. I’ve distinguished new things since last week’s post, so I’ll put in where I’m at here.

    I’m exhausted, completely to my own doing. Looking backwards, I’m at the tail end of 24 round trip flights/trips between May 24 and now. I didn’t think I could do this, and then I did, and it’s caused important breakdowns in communication, well being, and time management. I’m messy, and in the middle of breakthroughs in all three of these areas.

    From what Jeff and Sabrina have shared, it seems I’ve left you feeling disconnected from what I’m upto or committed to in team, and I’m so sorry for that. Inside my commitment to a breakthrough in Drama, I notice I’m holding back for fear that what I bring will be labeled as dramatic, regardless what it is, and that may be how we’ve arrived here, 5 days before module 2, and with team being unclear where I’m at with missing 1.5 days of module 2. This is so not my commitment, and it’s a part of my Bring It Sooner breakthrough + my Breaking Up the Drama breakthrough, so thanks for your support and grace.

    Looking forward, I don’t have it in me to declare big results, if I did, I’d be unlikely to deliver, simply because from a time perspective (one of my declared breakthroughs), my days are full and there’s no time left for me to take on big declarations that require big action. And I can see that I’ve made it up that missing 1.5 days of module would or should require that.

    From “I can’t handle it” I’m more than willing to cancel my Phoenix trip and be in SD with you all Saturday morning. From breakthroughs in Trust and Support, my request is that team work with me to cover my responsibilities the first day and a half of module 2, and give me the day and a half fully off to be with my PHX commitment.

    Please bring your voices here and share what you see!

    <3 T.

     Sabrina Pratt

    HI Jeff!

    Yes yes AND yes. consider it done. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it.

    This is actual footage of me putting my apologies and “this is my first rodeo as PC” qualifications that diminish my power in the garbage. You got it.

    Thanks team!!!


     Jeff Miller

    Hey Sabrina,

    Thanks for putting this on loud speaker. With all the love in my heart, can you do me a favor and put the “this is my first rodeo as program coach” statement in the garbage? You are a freaking bad ass coach and leader on this planet. Whether this is your first year or 10th year as a program coach, you do not need to qualify anything that comes out of your brilliant brain. Every time you bring something we all get value. Whether you are coming from SM and incomplete of dropping leader bombs from above the weeds. You and we are all so powerful that withholding things or qualifying ourselves just doesn’t make sense. And I am saying that to myself as much as to the team.

    As far as team absences, my request a while ago is for all of us to please fill out the “team absences” tab on our google doc. We all have busy lives and are doing amazing work on this planet. If there is a conflict that will come up down the road please let it be known and create the enrollment now.

    As far as T’s absence for Module #2, it definitely lands a little bit like hearing a great setup for a joke and a weak punchline. T, your enrollment coming back onto the team was legit. And since, things like an LA workshop and enrollment for missing the first day and half of module #2 has pretty much not happened. And it lands like, I am busy doing XYZ and it is what it is. I want to be super clear here. T I am more than enrolled in you as a coach and human being. What I would love to see is you flexing your enrollment muscle and not just stopping because you have an insane travel scheduled. What would Bill Gates do?

     Sabrina Pratt

    EDIT: “from my automatic those are the two places I am MOST likely to come from…”

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