Addicted to Morphine

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  • #208473
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    So so true

    #208240
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    Nichole! YES!!!! I betcha our whole team has a flavor of this going on! It’s probs what has us craving a breakthrough in consistent and new normal for ourselves.

    I totally resonate with what you share and I see how it shows up in my own life! I literally “leave money laying on the table” by not sending invoices in a timely way, not following up on emails, not getting biz things flat, waiting till the last minute to plan, market, communicate- sheesh! I create so much drama and stress for myself INTENTIONALLY in the name of “I can’t” or “I won’t” or “I don’t know how” just so I can superwoman in and make some “magic money” in a hurry.

    And all of that, for what?! Superwoman doesn’t create her own emergencies, y’all. She’d rather be chillin’ on an island riding horses with some of her best gal pals and, frankly, so would this Super Sabs.

    Feeling this, Nichole. Thanks for sharing it, Sister!!!

    #208238
     Nichole
    Participant

    Today I found myself in another situation where I had to pull $100,000 out of my ass.

    I get myself in these situations a lot. I know that I’m creating it, but it’s not conscious. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m energetically creating rollercoaster scenarios in my life and business over and over. I don’t enjoy it. It’s stressful. I’ve proclaimed to the Universe over and over, “I learned my lesson, let’s move on now!”

    I also had a big conversation with my attorney today. Our response to the complaint is due tomorrow. I was so anxious for our call because she sent me an email yesterday wanting to chat about a proposed settlement. When I saw her email yesterday, I got a pit in my stomach. I had made it clear that I didn’t want to settle. Why is she even suggesting it? I proceeded to call everyone who I can talk to about the case to predict possible settlement scenarios and how I’m going to relay what I want to my attorney and be understood about where I stand. Which is that I’m not f*ing settling, I don’t care what it costs.

    When I had my call with my attorney, she laid out her settlement offer, which states that if the plaintiff will pay my attorneys fees, we will destroy the documents they want us to destroy and we will not countersue.

    Can I get a hell yeah!? She is my hero. All that worry for nothing. She totally has my back.

    Minutes later, I got the money in to cover all the taxes I have to pay tomorrow. Magic.

    This combination of the things I needed coming through at the last moment put me in such a euphoric state. Finally, the stress that had been culminating for weeks had been released. I felt high. I called Jocelyn and caught her up on everything. I made the comment to her that this feeling of everything working out felt like emotional morphine. It just kind of popped out of my subconscious.

    Back story: When Keva was a newborn, I suffered from kidney stones. All those people who swear that kidney stones are more painful than childbirth… Accurate! Been through both! I was in so much pain, I legitimately thought I might die. I was writing down my passwords for my dad so that he could access all my stuff in case I died. I was breastfeeding Keva at the time, and I remember my dad taking me to the hospital and I was sitting in the ER waiting room nursing Keva and just bawling in pain. I wanted to feed her as much as possible before they brought me in because I didn’t know what was going to happen after that and she was only five months old and never had anything other than breastmilk before.

    They finally called me back and I was in a bare room alone on a cot just writhing in pain. After about 20 minutes they came in and gave me an IV drip of morphine. I will never forget that feeling of the morphine going through my veins, into my body. I can almost feel it just talking about it. The coolness and warmness of it spread throughout my body and just set each part into a state of relaxation and peace, one by one, finally reaching my abdomen and setting me into a blissful state of gratitude for the disappearance of the pain.

    “That’s how this feels,” I explained to Jocelyn, “Emotional morphine.”

    After I hung up the phone, I was just going about my day doing the next thing and then the next. And then suddenly, it felt like a literal smack on the forehead, I went, “Oh my gosh, I’m addicted to emotional morphine.” This high that I get from alleviating my stress and anguish is a better feeling than I normally feel. There for I create it so that I can overcome it. What a weirdo!

    So now what? I am going to bring this to my coaching call with Juliana tomorrow. I’m so stoked that I figured this out!! It’s felt so out of my control for so long.

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