Being With & Support Request

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  • #232095
     Tiffany Turner
    Participant

    I got supported in getting complete this morning and created some great new awareness.

    I want to share that I’ve brought Stands to LKT, Charlie, and Juliana from my SM this past week. I can see how my next breakthrough in leadership is available here, to stand and cause something from a place I’ve never been before. I’m outside my comfort zone, and I don’t know what to do or how to do it, and from that place, I brought some messy and frustrated stands for peeps on our team. I’m sorry for the messes I’ve made, and I’m appreciative for the opportunity to practice here.

    Charlie, my stand for you is that you be reliable, and be your word in all your commitments in your life.

    Juliana, my stand for you is that you bring all of yourself to your commitments, and stop dimming your light/power.

    LKT, my stand for you is that you get off the scariest, most intense roller coaster at the theme park, and expand yourself to be in Thrive for more time than you currently do.

    Laura, watching your experience of COVID has me be endlessly appreciative for the circumstances of my life. I truly cannot imagine the challenge of having two kids under age 4 at home, wanting my attention all day, and being unreliable to themselves. You’ve been so generous with all of us on team to be Out Loud about your life, and it’s because of that generosity that we can stand outside the theme park and say, “Why the heck won’t she get off that ride?”

    I love you so much, and I want your life to work consistently.

    My commitment is to the life you want, and I don’t see that available in the current cycles and patterns. It seems like your SM thinks that it needs to convince us all to be on her side, and she does that through explaining, politely defending, and seducing us from the place of “No really, none of you could TRULY get it.”

    Because I love you, I am going to work hard not to be seduced by that part of your SM anymore. And what I notice is that even in your intention to own where you’re at, that part of your SM still shows up to defend, explain, and seduce.

    Your power as an armchair ontologist is truly magnificent. Not only does our team need that, but humanity needs it. I also suspect that your SM has you using Armchair Ontologist as a strategy to keep you in distinguishing/reflecting, and keep you out of action. It feels like instead of moving things forward, you’re currently more reliable to volley the conversation back to someone else via distinguishing/reflecting/armchair ontologist-ing.

    Something I’m creating for myself in all this is to let go of my attachment. I notice that in smaller stakes conversations, I’m not attached, and as we get to bigger stakes convos, I get more and more attached. That’s my work, and I’m committed to having a breakthrough here. Please reflect when you feel/see that I’m attached to something.

    From this place, I’m not enrolled in your circumstances. I love you. I value you. I want to find the path forward that has you in action for YOU.

    This reminds me of last year when Brittany would say, “[insert name] could generate this program with their eyes closed and their arms tied behind their back.” Ultimately, this program will be produced. We got this. And I know I’d love to see you create something new, because the place you’re at is stale and crunchy (Juliana, Charlie, I see this for the two of you as well). This is the place where we transform. Trusting that the program will be produced, and for all of us to get what we came here for.

    In releasing attachment and committing to my breakthrough in leadership, I’m going to practicing inviting you all to be your word. I’ll continue to remind you of what you said you want, and I’ll put you at choice, on repeat. What you choose to create, is entirely up to you, and I’ll love all of you just the same regardless what you choose.

    Thanks for being with me in this breakthrough for me, and thanks to LKT, Charlie, and Juliana for being where you’re at, so that I could create this for myself.

    Love you all,

    T.

    #232033
    Good Morning Team.
    I had a fabulous support call this morning where I got to get complete and take a look at what’s occurring for me right now at home and on team and I’m excited to share!
    First, I’m reminded of the conversations we’re all having in various spaces of covid-19 being a massive circumstance that is driving up all of our pre-existing contexts due to the levels of the unknown and uncertainty and discomforts we’re experiencing.
    And boy are my leadership gaps showing! The gaps that didn’t need covid-19 to be true for me, but that I’m getting to be with in a new way now are:
    – my relationship to support (shouldn’t need it)
    – my disorganization of structures (it’s hard)
    – my competitor context (me v you, him v me, them v. me)
    – my you don’t get me (my life is extra special and unique so you couldn’t possibly)
    None of it was true before covid-19 and I know none of it’s true now, but you can sure as hell bet that the fear and the circumstances I’m challenged by being with right now are trying to convince me otherwise.
    I need some support and in my asking for it, I invite you to hear me bringing our commitment to business as usual (asking and allowing support, practicing vulnerability and intimacy and slowing down and leaning into relationship).
    What’s so: my 4 yr old and my 2 yr old are home from school at least through the month of April while their preschool is closed and Jeremy is committed to working 40 flexible hours each week from our basement. I am supported by continuing our work that includes the rigorous accountability structures of our calls, check-in sheets, etc. and the piece that I need from you all is the rigorous stand that not fall away with a ton of acknowledgement that you see what I’m working with right now. Not that you see it as hard. Not that you get enrolled in I’m too busy, but that you verbally get me. Tell me you see me pouring love onto my kids while they’re begging for all of me and more more more. Tell me you acknowledge the work I did to create a relationship with Jeremy that can thrive while all of our roles as co-parents, professionals, lovers, home-makers, etc. exist under one roof. I’m doing work and taking calls sometimes with the beingness of Toddler energy all around me, and it often challenges my ability to get elevation, to see all the moving pieces and I’m not asking anyone to rescue or take my doings because I can’t handle them. I would love the
    I assert our team has a disempowered context around support. That to need it or ask for it means something we don’t want to be with. I don’t have to be right about that, but  I’m curious. How does “I’m not with stupid” get frustrated by “I’m overwhelmed”? How does “I’m not enough” get scared and run hiding from “when are you gonna get this right?” Where and how are our contexts triggering one another?
    For me, the doing of my business, life logistics and AC program production are more possible because part of our business as usual is to demand intimacy and relationship and support.
    Biz as usual doesn’t mean get complete alone, figure it out and show up to perform powerfully without humanity. We are practicing rigor AND love. Maybe rigor FROM love and love THROUGH rigor.
    Are you all willing to make space for making sure I receive you seeing me practicing having it all and showing up powerfully while being stretched and often really uncomfortable and really really willing to?
    Who hears something for you or us in this?
    What are you being with that’s stretching you these days?
    What support would you be willing to ask for from team?
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