10 months, 4 weeks ago #256473Laura Kline TaylorParticipant
The piece I will add, Charlie, is to keep going. I see an opportunity for you to hold with reverence how you’ve done it so far. How it’s landed so far. How team feels and what team thinks. Receive the feedback as gold. Get complete and Keep Going with the shame and self judgment out of the drivers seat – nowhere in the car, actually. If you take it on vacation with you, leave it there. We are with you.10 months, 4 weeks ago #256466
Thank you Brittany and Sabrina.
I hear you.
I feel stuck.
I don’t know where to go from here that is going to make a difference right now. I’m not sure you need anything right now. This is a pretty deep hole I have dug.
I’m not giving up. I will keep working on what I know to do and growing into the man I know I can be. That guy will be hired and qualified and registering people in the program because it’s a reflection of who I become not a thing I need to get in order to become that guy I know I will be. In the mean time I’m going to just keep trying. I will keep taking steps. I’m not sorry I’m where I’m at. It’s fine. I am the best version of myself to date and I am damn proud of myself. I am sorry I have created a set of experiences that has you in this place.
thanks for your love and stand. I can let it all in.
mom super exhausted right now and tomorrow is a long day for me so I am not going to declare to produce the things you see for me or need me to declare to be enrolled.
I still have people I am thinking I have to tell I won’t be around for a week to get ahead of a potential any potential breakdowns.
I know I need more help and I am practicing getting it.
I am grateful For all of you.
I will leave one last thing.
when I don’t see Lillian for a couple of weeks and I come back from one of these longer trips I look at her and say holy shit she grew so much. Her face is older she looks taller. And I think there is no way she grew that much in a couple of weeks.
I realized that I was comparing and contrasting her to the Lillian I remember from moths ago in my mind. And I realize I don’t spend much time really looking at her or seeing her for who she was the day I leave.
I will make myself more visible.10 months, 4 weeks ago #256422Brittany CottonParticipant
What Sabrina said 🙂10 months, 4 weeks ago #256421Sabrina PrattParticipant
One time I was stuck in traffic at a light in the middle of nowhere NC and there was this windowless van next to me, the driver accidentally jammed the gas instead of the brake and rammed the crap out of the car in front of him. Everyone was ok but the van got crunched up and the impact made the doors swing open and there was a BUTT LOAD OF PAPERS that flew out of this hoarder’s van. It flew across all of these stopped cars like the junk-mailiest snow storm that ever occurred in 99 degree heat.
The poor driver was so upset. He was embarrassed and frazzled and pissed that everyone in the traffic could see his mess. I wanted to pull over to help him (and I wasn’t the only one who wanted to help, other cars were pulling over, too) but he was so humiliated that we all saw what a hoarder he was (there was probably junk mail from 1982 stuck back there that came flying out) that he wouldn’t accept anyone’s help. He was red faced, angry tears, cussing, sweaty and trying desperately to grab his mess and stuff it back in where no one could see it. But it was too late, we had all seen it already. We knew. And he knew that we knew.
I love you, Charlie. Love you so much AND this has been my experience of you for the most part this year. Charlie, we see your mess. We have seen it. And, um, it’s holding up traffic. Would you please be so kind as to allow us to pull over and stand for your greatness/help you clean things up a bit?
I am enrolled in your absence. And not transactionally. Like, totally 1000% go on your trip, have an incredible time, get all the joy and all the rest and all the fun!!!
Get 3 full pay clients (or more) locked in ASAP. By next Thursday 9/10/20 per your declaration.
Register your first person for this program.
Follow through on the things you say you will do without story, excuse, drama, excuses, apology or guilt.
Show up CPR to all calls.
Be a demand to get the kind of support that would have you in full integrity with these and all life commitments. But, maybe start here, so as to create this with our team.
We have new program coaches about to join our team. Already existing team members, it’s a quarter past time to step up your game.
All my love always, always, always;
Sabrina10 months, 4 weeks ago #256420Brittany CottonParticipant
I am sorry you are getting the brunt of my end of day fatigue in my response. But I am committed to you knowing we see you and hear you.
I am enrolled in your vacation, I’m honestly just really annoyed at how you brought it 🙂
You saw this is an annual trip and we are hearing about it right before? I get its a breakthrough to bring enrollment and create it different so I totally acknowledge you for that. AND I’m really over you not getting your impact. We are such a stand that you get everything you want in life, and its not possible for us if you don’t show up and do the work with us.
We have reflected at some time or another that it seems like you appear and disappear often. Its painful to want so much of you, and have you be absent. And then when you do show up there is so much content I notice I don’t want to parse through it, which continually makes me feel distant to you. I know I have the work to do, and it seems aligned with some of what Nichole reflected. A lot of explaining occurs from you. We don’t need the explanation we just need you.
Also- what will you create in your absence in registration? Workshop? Accountabilities? To miss production the week of graduation/a module is a big missing. What will be generated other than essence convos and an SS?11 months ago #256179
Thank you Nichole.
I agree with you. I need a breakthrough in support and that comes from trust and abundance. I can be a meiser when it comes to spending money on something I think I can do myself. I have been talking about hiring a personal assistant for a couple of years. I have even tried to co-op people into sharing one person so we can employ someone full time. I was having jessica help me with some of my personal projects and she is too busy with work stuff now. I interviewed a project manager to work for me part time at work so I can have more time for my personal stuff including coaching and personal growth.
I see the being part too. How am I being up to the point where it’s time to air it out. Consistency and reliability are the breakthrough for me. Structures to have me engaged and complete. It’s awesome because it’s the same thing every time and it just takes doing a little bit more and coming back in a little bit more and not stopping a little bit more. I know all the structures and I know I can add a next level of some structures. And be more consistent and reliable to do them.
I will think about how it’s going to be different for you while I’m gone and when I get back. I think what T said once about just bringing more of me into the space. So what’s in it for you all when I get back is I will bring more of me moving forward. I see what that means now. It’s more of my voice and more of my actions. And it stars with being sourced and complete.
I don’t know what’s in it for you while I’m gone.
what do you all see could be in it for you?11 months ago #256170NicholeParticipant
I have a few things for you and I may have more later.
1) When you ask, “What is the right amount of time to be talking about being missing?” I think you’ll find the answer in the being not the timing. If it wasn’t super typical of you to bring last-minute notices or just not show up for stuff, it would be a different conversation.
2) You mentioned on the other post (just putting my feedback all in one place) that you need a breakthrough in technology. Consider that the breakthrough might not actually be about technology. My opinion is that it’s about support. Look, if I’m behind on my accounting, I don’t need a breakthrough in accounting. I probably need a breakthrough in trust. I need to let go of worrying that hiring an accountant means I’m doing a bad job. I need to let go of the fear that they might find something wonky in my books and I’ll look bad. I don’t need to learn accounting.
3) What I see for you is a breakthrough in support. If you said that you were going to hire an assistant when you got back from your vacation I’d be 100% enrolled. What’s missing for me in your enrollment is how is this absence of Charlie going to feel any different for us and for you while you’re gone and after you get back?
P.S. That sounds really fun and I want to come with you.11 months ago #256169
I am frustrated. With my self. I hear you T,
this is a vacation that has been planned for a while. It is something I have known about. This is something that happens less but a lot for me where I double book things because I forget.
I started using a calendar for the first time in my life a little over two years ago. I do so much in my calendar now and there is room to use the structure more. I went to start up San Diego and saw one of Nichole’s friends do a presentation where he share his calendar and I said holy shit that’s a lot of planning.
In my cash for cars business and in my towing business my phone would ring then I would put that person on hold then I would have a voicemail pop up then I would get back on the phone with the original person. Then I would make calls when the phone wasn’t ringing. I would spend my days doing this All day every day. It created the financial outcome I wanted. I was a one man rodeo and I killed it and people praised me for it and I was the man. Then I realized I had a ceiling at which I couldn’t break through without getting help and I did. This cycle has played out in my life for 20 years. It’s a hard habit to break especially when it worked. I run around doing it all and getting what I want because I have been willing to work really hard at it.
the negative consequences are it has left people feeling spoken at, not valued, out of relationship, hurt, unseen and it has led to so many power struggles and competing commitments that have been reconciled through the either or context. Ultimately divorce and relationships ending has been one consequence I am no longer willing to suffer through.
I realized by posting this enrollment that I have other trips in my calendar that will leave, not just you all here, but other people feeling out or hurt or all the things I just said about what has historically happened.
I see that being at cause to air out my schedule with the people it affects is critical to maintaining relationship. I literally just got a text message from Dawna that this week is going to be the last week she has available for a while and I haven’t told her I won’t be here. Jessica finds out When I’m leaving sometimes after I have left. My family will check in and not know where I’m at.
It just doesn’t enter my mind to tell people my plans. And I think it fine that most people don’t know but when it affects someone it then becomes a breakdown.
I made a calendar to hang on the wall for Lillian and I to write things on and she and I can be informed better. When I was with amber this same breakdown happened and we created a calendar check in every week to get ahead of things.
I guess I’m asking myself what is the right amount of time to be talking about being missing? It seems to be variable depending on the circumstances.
what do you all think?
will you share here what you do and what you see for me?
I totally see and have seen that communication and airing it out is key to relationship, efficiency and trust. Oh yeah reliability too.11 months ago #256167Tiffany TurnerParticipant
Hey Charlie – I want to acknowledge you for going past where you usually stop, and bringing an enrollment around this rather than just not showing up.
I remember earlier this program year, you were SUPER in your stuff, and I felt like no one on team could get ahold of you or make a difference for you, and then one day, you sent a picture of you and your friends skiing or snowboarding in Utah (or Montana or something). I was so caught off guard. It really stuck with me that we just don’t really know what’s going on with you. If we poke, we’re most likely to get a ton of story about your overwhelm, and then on occasion, we get a lot of Charlie on forum, in support, in GroupMe, and then you fade away and we’re back to not really knowing what’s going on over there.
When I presence myself to this, I think about your requests of me to meet you where you’re at, and with patience; and what I make that mean, is that you’re not actually committed to your life going differently, and I should leave you alone and not stand for you. I’m sure there’s other options or in-betweens that I’d love to create that would actually have you move forward in your transformation, and have me/us feel like you’re truly a player on this team, rather than a substitute at your convenience.
I hold it that our team is enrolled in everyone having breaks/vacations, and from that place, I’m enrolled. What I’m not enrolled in is the circumstance/timing. From what you shared, this doesn’t occur to be an intentionally created vacation, it seems At Effect in the same way a lot of your At Effect patterns play out. Can you share what breakthrough in Intentionality or At Cause is available to you in creating this?11 months ago #256098
I typically plan a Bunch of stuff and then let myself be at affect to the breakdowns generated by not being in communication about what I am up to leaving the people in my life feeling like they are not valued or appreciated. I drop the ball all over the place from this thing I am doing of not playing out loud, not considering the consequences of leaving people out of what I am up to. This is a continuing breakdown in my life. I am really seeing the breakthrough for me in getting ahead of my schedule and the things I commit to out in the open. Practicing enrollment and alignment in what I am doing will have me practicing being aware of my impact. What is available on the other side of this practice is having the people I love fell loved. Generating connection, trustworthiness, partnership, relationship and peace.
I want to enroll you all in me missing all things AC starting this Wednesday 9-2 through Thursday 9-10. I am going on an annual house boat trip at lake Powell. If you haven’t been or heard about it it is the most insanely peaceful, spiritual and bad ass landscape. Its basically a lake at the top of the Grand Canyon. My friend Darren and his wife Amy Own a 80 foot house boat called the kea Lani. He brings two jet skis that top out at 70 MPH, 73 with a solid tail wind, and his ski boat. the lake has fingers that are up to 2 or 3 miles branching off from the main body of water that we take the skis up and explore. we go in amazing hikes up sandstone landscape with huge vertical cliffs that dive straight down into the water. They invited me to go with them for the first time 5 years ago when I was stuck in a dark place right before Julie and I separated. Darren is very particular who he has on this trip and 5 years ago I stuck, not only because of my mechanical knowledge and ability to diagnose and repair all things mechanical, but everyone likes me 🙂 Darren is also one of my partners in our Race car.
What I get from this trip is a total reset. Mind, body, spirit. I get to hang out with 8 other really awesome people, play games, go explore every day, be of service, pilot and beach a massive floating house, campfires, fireworks, wake boarding, wake surfing, great meals, lots of relaxing and reading, a 10 hour road trip each way that always includes deep meaningful fun conversations. Its a week long adventure that checks all the boxes for me.
What I see for you all is an opportunity to generate something with me over the next few days that would have you just as excited as I am. This is a new experience for me to consider enrollment as access to relationship, partnership and playing team. What I am going be missing is reg calls on 9-2 and 9-9, reg power 1/2 hour on 9-8, qual support call on 9-7, production call 9-8. My plan is to enroll everyone in a group essence conversation and a one on one SS on the trip. I see this as access to invite not only the people I will be with into the experience of ontological coaching but a way to source referrals, observation/workshop and reg.
What do you all see available to you to participate in this enrollment?
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