Couple's "I" Exercise

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     Aarti Mallya

    This is all amazing and so great, glad to hear everything. I don’t know how I missed this whole thread until now as I thought I have been good and consistent with forum. Anyways super happy about everything and for Sabrina and T.


    As Sabrina mentioned, I did not facilitate the exercise. That honor wound up in the capable hands of Jen and Shawna since they were able to be there in person and I gave my moral support through zoom. It was great to experience the connection between Sabrina and T. I admit there was part of me that was feeling uncomfortable for them physically. Like, it seemed as though they were physically uncomfortable in the chairs and it was distracting to me at times. I have no idea if that is true or if it was my imagination and also I don’t know why I’m sharing this. haha. I just noticed it.

    I’m excited to have the team all together so we can feel the results instead of talk about them. Six days!! Woo!

     Sabrina Pratt

    Hi Team!

    I am truly sorry for the delay on posting the recording of this exercise. I did record it on my zoom on my laptop AND I am unable to locate the recording!!! I don’t know if my computer/zoom put it somewhere weird because it was a large file (over 2 hours) or what. Sorry about this breakdown. I will keep looking and ask some techie friends for help/call zoom directly to see if I can retrieve it.

    I had an incredibly heart opening and powerful experience sharing this exercise with T. Shawna Battaglia and Jenn Narragon ( 2 AC graduates who live in SLO) came over to my house on Monday 1/30/19 and facilitated the exercise. Nichole joined via zoom to observe for part of the time.

    My experience is that it felt scary and also empowering to be so honest and so present. It was also very exhausting and I felt drained for most of the rest of the day. I loved having everyone in my house and, speaking of love- there was so much open hearted, present and connected energy in the space. It was truly beautiful and profound.

    I am so grateful to T, to Nichole, to Jenn, Shawna AND to our entire team for the partnership we are in creating this amazing opportunity to breakthrough and break up a bunch of the old disempowering stories. I felt so much profound gratitude for T that she was willing to come to my house, to be there with me, to do the work and to partner with me in showing me a different way to be in relationship and to work through it. I am forever changed, so happy and so, so excited to see all of you in person in just a few short weeks!!!


    All my big, beautiful heart full of LOVE;


     Juliana Sih

    Ahhh, I missed this 🙁

    I have a coaching call from 7:30-8:30 on Saturday, it ran over and then totally slipped my mind #calendar.

    How was it, please share. Nichole, how was facilitating the exercise? How did the emotions change over time?

    T and Sabrina, what did doing this exercise make possible in your relationship? what did it open up for both of you?


    This is making my life right now. I love you both so much!!!!

     Tiffany Turner

    Holy bananas. What a powerful tool. I wish the entire team could have been there to watch us. Sabs and I were sooooo connected. I felt at ease, I felt I could say anything on my heart or in my mind and it was clear how heard and seen I would be for sharing myself. SO much space was held.

    Sabs, this is the biggest relationship breakthrough I’ve ever generated. Thank you for your partnership. Thank you for being At Cause for creating it, thanks for arranging getting everyone together, hosting us, and bringing all of yourself and your truths today. I’m SO excited for what’s next for us!!!


    Sabs, your sharing shows how much you trust us to be your team. You love us and we love you.  No givesies backsies. You’re stuck with us. Love ya. ? See ya mañana, mamasita.

     Sabrina Pratt

    Hi There Team!

    I just wanted to put on loudspeaker that I am extremely nervous about tomorrow. I would put my nerves in the 8-9 range on a scale of 1-10. Every time I think about our meeting tomorrow I want to puke- I feel sweaty and nauseous. I feel similar feelings thinking about being at the next module in that room again. Which is such a bummer because I am also really looking forward to next module and seeing everyone! I am so down to clear the pukey feels and make room for the joy and excitement.

    My SM is telling me all sorts of things like “If you are honest during tomorrow’s exercise then T will hold all of that stuff on you and so will your team and then they will have all of the fuel they need to kick you off the team.” I really don’t want to get asked to leave the team.

    My SM gives me amnesia so I am not exactly sure what was said but LKT said something at the last module that went into my brain along the lines of “we will need to re-evaluate whether or not this is the right team.” Like I said, I am not exactly sure what was said but that is how my SM has taken whatever it was and keeps hitting me in the face with it. Those words have been bouncing around in my head and making me want to puke and cry and hide and play dumb and soften my edges so I am easier to be with and shield my power and try extra hard and then I get resentful because “I can’t be honest and be myself” and because “I’m too much” and now I am trapped and in just full on fear-cry mode.

    My SM works me into this paralysis spiral of self-loathing. It is very painful. I am aware of the spiral and I see it for what it is and I know it is not me. I know I am responsible for the story I tell and I know I have another story to tell. An empowering, happy story. If my SM runs the show it will have me scared shitless that I will be dismissed from this team for being honest and for being myself. My SM tells me that I have no room to fuck up because my errors are so selfish and annoying and painful for everyone else. I have been having terrible dreams and waking up in sweats lately. I am really, really super down to have a breakthrough.

    I know that our time tomorrow will not be well spent with me hiding, lying or speaking in sugar coated half truths about how my experience has gone. I get that the “I exercise” is all about sharing MY experience with someone else and listening as they share theirs. I know that the pain of my experiences are a result of interpretation and me assigning significance, fault, blame and meaning to my feelings. I am into breaking all of that up and seeing things in pure light and love. I am willing. I am also very, very scared.

    I don’t have a whole lot of life evidence to show me that it is ever safe to be open hearted and to share “uncomfortable” or “negative” emotions/feelings out loud. I actually have a lot of experiences and evidence to say that what I feel is wrong and bad because I am inherently a wrong and bad person. And that I deserve pain and suffering in solitude on account of being such a horrible, awful person. I am so nervous and I want you all to know that I am nervous. I feel like I am laid bare and I am crying really hard with a knot in my throat as I write this.

    I am walking in tomorrow fully committed to coming in clear and complete AND to being vulnerable and honest. My intention is to be present and open hearted with T and team and joined by awesome and supportive other coaches in love. I am committed to checking my ego which I know comes from fear. My intention is to humble myself, to be open and to practice speaking from my heart.

    Currently, I don’t have 100% trust that it is safe. So, on some level I am willing to exercise faith that I will be held even when it doesn’t feel like that can be so. I am so scared of having me thrown back in my face and weaponizing my vulnerability against me.

    Anyhow, I love you all and I am going to get in a warm bath and a cozy bed here in a few so I can be well rested for tomorrow.

    From the top of the high dive with All my LOVE;


     Brittany Cotton

    Thanks Nichole! And so much love and respect to T and Sabrina who are so dedicated to creating something different. I will be on a plane to hawaii, so I will not be able to join!

    Nichole do you need any training or support around leading it?


     Sabrina Pratt

    Hi Team!

    I am so stoked for this Saturday! We will start promptly at 9am to leave plenty of room for the exercise.

    Here is the zoom link: *please note that there is a password required!

    Sabrina Pratt is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

    Topic: Couple’s I Exercise Call with T & S
    Time: Dec 28, 2019 09:00 AM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

    Join Zoom Meeting

    Meeting ID: 454 407 519
    Password: 249583

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    Dial by your location
    +1 669 900 6833 US (San Jose)
    +1 408 638 0968 US (San Jose)
    +1 646 876 9923 US (New York)
    Meeting ID: 454 407 519
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    Here is what we have created: This Saturday 12/28 at 9am T and I will be joined at my house by Shawna B. (and maybe also Jenn N. we are waiting on confirmation) both of whom are former AC participants and practicing life coaches. We enrolled Shawna and Jenn because we wanted to have AC trained coach(es) present to support and help facilitate in person. We are all really pumped about the opportunity to involve the entire team via zoom.

    I will be recording the session and will share on this thread Saturday after we are done. So, if you miss the live exercise you will still have an opportunity to share in what will be created.

    Looking forward to relationship breakthrough like whoah!

    All my love;


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