1 year, 4 months ago #208631
Thank you, all! Who will be the one for me THIS Wednesday at 8:30am?1 year, 4 months ago #208616Aarti MallyaParticipant
LKT I am not available this Wednesday. The ones after that I probably could be. Please reach out via text or GroupMe for support.1 year, 4 months ago #208052Jeff MillerParticipant
HA! I love that last part LKT. Love that you are doing and being the work and willing to look at every angle.
Keep bringing your reflections, boldness and heart with that guy. If you are willing, place a picture of your dad and Emory next to you when you are coaching Don. This will remind you of why you get triggered and the greatness we all have inside of us (like magic of a child). Keep being a demand for support and most importantly being you. You totally got this.1 year, 4 months ago #208049Brittany CottonParticipant
I love what everyone has already put in, and I love what you are creating from this LKT! Also thanks so much for the reminder that we can tell our clients we are getting seduced, triggered, on the court, etc. I’m curious what he saw around his Asshole-ness? And what you two created around when it shows up? You put it so well, that “asshole nice guy.” Has he distinguished its job, and (my suspicion) what its protecting? Seems like that will support you a lot in your coaching when it shows up so that you can simply coach to its function, versus being taking out by the application of it.
I will sometimes be available at that time, so I can always reach out when I am and see if you are??
Thanks for doing such beautiful work to be on this guys team!1 year, 4 months ago #208035
Thanks both – and totally, Mike. Who is available on Wednesdays between 8:30-9am PT to support me prior to my calls with him? Doesn’t have to be one person either.1 year, 4 months ago #207869Aarti MallyaParticipant
I don’t know Don well as I have limited exposure with him. But it seems at the end of what you said is labeling, judging, and certain things being the absolute truth. Like fact vs. interpretation. I see the value in you clearing before every call with Don for at least a month or two. Clearing more in relation to stuff with Don and your dad.1 year, 4 months ago #207854Tiffany TurnerParticipant
Oh LKT! This is so beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
What I see next is partnership between you and Don that empowers you to call his sneaky asshole SM out when it shows up.
Thanks for getting complete and going back in. Don is already a more powerful human through the support you’ve given him from coach!1 year, 4 months ago #207826
Want to share an update on the call with Don today as a follow up to the training you all put in for me on last night’s co-coaching. Nichole & Sabs you weren’t there, but feel free to chime in and add what you see – Charlie, Mike too.
So I hopped on the phone with JuSih to distinguish what it is about Don that drives me “batshit crazy” (Kerry’s words =) and we distinguished that Don for me is my dad in that my dad is an arrogant Mr. Nice Guy. Not in the Tigger-chase-the-squirrel-up-a-tree kind of way that Don brings it, but in the “I’m better than you way” Don shows up. Then I realized that my dad is also a guy who as a little girl I felt was doing fake relationship with me. We went out to dinner, he helped me apply to colleges, but he never knew what my greatest fears and joys were – like the real deal stuff good dads know =) And I heard myself say to JuSih – “ughhhhh, why would I coach a guy like that!? Ugghhhh! I can’t imagine showing up as Coach for an hour a week with my dad and holding him as his greatness and uuuuggghhhh! I don’t want this breakthrough right now”. (<—that’s what My SM sounds like btw =) And then JuSih asked me that amazing question coaches ask “what’s available on the other side?” to which I said “uuuughhhhggg! ok.” And I put down my SM. Here’s what I see is available:
Don’s leadership in full complete power, Don’t magnificent relationship with his daughter, knowing myself at next level powerful coach, the ability to be with disappointment, heartbreak, and the possibility of not being liked.
So Don showed up today and lead with ownership of his bulldozing SM last week and I owned what I’d been getting hooked by, letting him get away with and I enrolled him in starting over. He said hell yes and thank you. He’s still an asshole =) but we are powerfully in relationship and I’m dishing it and he’s coachable. Best call yet.
What now? What training / reflections / practices would you add to what I uncovered with JuSih?
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