enrollment to be on co coaching without 3 FP clients

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     Charlie Horn

    I’m working myself out over here with this enrollment thread.
    Thanks all for your patience with me. I can only imagine the frustration over there. I’m really grateful for each of you.

    I am standing for myself to have what I want. Or more eloquently put to see myself as worthy of asking for what I want. So from there I am going to continue until I get to where I want to be. Co coaching.

    Leading up to this module and seeing more than I have, speaking up more than I have, doing more than I have had me present to the possibility of me getting connected to the participants in other ways than co coaching. The forum for instance. There check in sheets. I could create enrollment to have one on one conversations with each of you about what you see for them and support you all in your coaching them.

    I could just get freaky serious about getting hired and actually give myself some serious consequences  (whooha that’s scary).

    there would no doubt be some positive consequences in any and all of that. And from there it would be me pausing on actually going for what I want. And getting it. Further reinforcing my disempowering belief of I’m not good enough. from there please don’t just let me on co coaching I’m getting this manipulative vibe over here and I don’t want to be manipulative. Have me on co coaching because it makes sense and it is a win win.
    I’m cool to put a couple more wins on the win win as well so give me what you got.


     Charlie Horn


    Thanks for your stand for the system to work, Part of me is saying to just leave it alone until after the module because I don’t want to distract and take capacity from you all leading into the module but I realize I can trust you all to choose where and what you use your capacity on. So I am going to continue.

    I am still sitting in this place of there will be no harm in having me on co coaching and there will only be positive gains. I am going to refrain from comparing our program and LDP in service of clean responsible enrollment. What is the intention of NOT having me on co coaching I ask myself. What I see is the demand to be IN the work at a sufficient level that I am bringing a high enough quality of coaching game that is spiraling the team participants and I up. I am fighting myself so hard on this enrollment because I actually agree with the intention from that lens. And I am not qualified tone on co coaching. And I am not just coaching one person. Let me share what I have been up to and where I am at.

    My last call with Molly is next Thursday and I will get hired before then.

    I have two groups one is me and my friends and it has turned into a mastermind group where coachy stuff is happening. I love it and We are all killing it at what we are up to getting supported and holding each other accountable. Its bad ass!!

    Mike and I are continuing to work the group we set out to create. We have had two meetings so far. two of the four showed up to the first session and one to the second. I have commitment from one new person to pay 25 bucks a session moving forward. Three of the original four are enrolled and I am expecting all 5 to be there in two weeks for the next one.

    I see co coaching to be another structure I am willing to commit to showing up for. I see it supporting me in self enrollment to go back in when I am making it up that I don’t have time and its too hard and takes too much capacity. I really see a breakthrough simple and easy here and getting supported and playing in all areas of the team. I just want to be with you all a little bit more 🙂

    I feel the need to negotiate by saying if I do this then will you have?  I’m having this thing come up around transactional relationships and I don’t want to go there where I am committing to doing more and my SM has me afraid I will let you all down when I don’t. I am not looking at co coaching as the next fix which is a new way of being for me. I see it as a way to get connected more to the participants more than anything, get connected to you all, give and get the gold and get more practiced in all things coaching.

    Its totally cool however this ends up. I know I have been getting a lot out of it all so far and Im not even upset or too disappointed for me that I have not been on co coaching. Sabrina has asked me a couple times to bring this enrollment and I just didn’t see it for me or for you or for the program that there would be a value add for all. I see it now. And bringing this enrollment has me seeing more.

    What would be in it for each of you to have me on co coaching? What do you see for our team?

     Jeff Miller

    Hey Charlie,

    Thanks for the bringing this conversation and being a demand for that you want. In a way, it reminds me of when the participants start doing the program their way. I can see that having 3 clients can be avoided and you start coming to co-coaching. But does that actually make sense? We are in an ontological leadership and coaching program. The way we choose to grow here is to coach. To use the tools on ourselves and our clients. The longer you coach your clients and the more people you coach the more you learn. And the minimum of 3 coaching clients to be on co-coaching is similar to when you go to an amusement park and you see the height requirements to ride the rollercoasters. If you are an inch or two smaller, can you ride the roller coaster? It probably wouldn’t kill you, but they have that for safety procession. For someone who is working on consistency and structure, how does an extra hour in co-coaching actually support your big what for? I am unattached to whether you have 3 clients or 30, but I personally do see value in having at least 3 clients. For you, this has the possibility of beating up your time and not good enough context. And it will beef up your coaching chops to the standard that I know you want to have.

     Charlie Horn

    T, thanks for your stand for me to play full out. I think I know what you are talking about. But let me verify. What does full out mean to you? Does it mean responding to every reg email. Calling people every day integrating reg, client, relationship, partnership, stand, enrollment into a daily practice in service of getting hired and registering people into the AC programs. Is playing team full out being 3 client qualified or more? Taking on more doing in the production of our program? Generating a deeper bolder more confident at ease way of being on a daily basis?

    Playing full out in the past for me looked like doing things That I thought I wanted to do but really i was just doing what others wanted me to do or my doing was to support some covert desire to please the people I wanted to like me. I was told I was a good helper and a smart worker at 12 years old I spent a year helping my dad build a 1500 sq ft room addition onto my childhood house. I did everything with him working into the night after he got off work.  I was running machining equipment and making things in the garage when I was 13. I raced rc cars and made parts for the cars in the garage and sold them on the nights we would go to the track. I worked for my uncle every summer form age 13 on. My uncle praised me and told me what a great mechanic I was so right out of high school I went to work for him as a diesel mechanic working 12  to 16 hour days because it was expected. With the promise of one day being part owner of the equipment rental business. That promise was broken and I went to work for myself trying to please Julie, Lillian’s mom. She would tell me stories of how she grew up having all the finer things in life until her parents lost it all and I wanted to give her all the things she ever wanted. So for 15 years I worked. Sometimes around the clock when I had my towing company. Then I bought a piece of industrial land and spent more time improving that. Then a recycling business Then a retail auto and rv dealership and some more property. I had 28 employees at one point. It was fucking madness and chaos. And that was my normal. I spent my whole life doing for the people around me because I thought it was my job, my purpose, the way to be a man. The whole time I spent working for myself I had no friends, role models or mentors. I had yes people who told me whatever they thought I wanted to hear. Including Julie. So I just worked my face off and everyone around me said look at you, look how awesome you are. And I fucking killed it  all of it. I rocked everything I put my hands on and made it work. And it did. And then one day I find out Julie was raped after inviting the rapist into her hotel room on a girls trip and then she started cheating on me and the house of cards came tumbling down. I felt as though I was watching life play out in front of me on a television screen. I had been doing everything right and it all went wrong. And these beautiful little girls had suffered for it. Trinity and Lillian. Trinity is julies niece who lived with us for about 7 years. I can play full out rebuilding my entire race car getting it race prepped and racing Baja hitting 120 for 5 days in a row. I did it 2 years in a row and each year I looked back and I couldn’t remember half of it because I was so tired and worn out. But we finished both years and can in 18th overall out of 270 and 3rd in our class.  Who does that?!?!

    I know I can play reg and client game and team full out the way I played my life full out in the Past. Doing it all. Proving to everyone that I am good enough through getting clients and having a booming practice and generate money and being and all of that.
    I just don’t want to look back in 15 years and say, fuck……that wasn’t actually what I wanted.

    And I’m at a point where I see it as possible to generate the being and possibility and stand and integrate it all to live my “ideal life” and AC and coaching is a way to get it all. But damn it I want to go surfing and racing without doing race prep and half my time with Lillian and my family present to what she is up to and what they all need. I want to relax and take it easy. I have been grinding it out with coaching and I want to take it easy with coaching. I don’t want 10 clients. I just want to be on your team and play team. I don’t want to go on the hunt to find people to register and hire me. I just want to coach a couple people and support a program.

    so here I am not sure if it is ok for me to do what I want and still “qualify” to be on co coaching. And I’m making it up that it isn’t what “AC” wants or needs to even be a part of this team.
    but I know it’s possible to have what I want and for it to work for all of you and our program. it would be a breakthrough for me to not play all out from an empowered place instead of trying to play full out from a disempowered place. It would be a breakthrough for me to ask someone else to do the scanning instead of taking hours to try and figure it out only to get it wrong and then figure it out again only to get it wrong again 3 or 4 times. I still don’t think I “got it right” I’m guessing the office was just like………..dude, we’re just going to call it a day and move on. Lol ?

    Im not saying it all hasn’t been valuable and there haven’t been massive amounts of gain for me to date. There has been and it’s been increasingly and I’m so greatful and in love with each of you.
    I don’t know what to say about how it should be or how it should go but co coaching is another step in the right direction.
    Tiffany I see your point with my lack of reliability. I acknowledge my hiding and not owning where I am at in the moment. It comes from not good enough and fear of criticism. Please know there is not a fix for that. It’s part of me and something I have been trying to fix my whole life. There is only taking another step and falling on my face and getting back up. The quicker I try to run the quicker I fall on my face.
    less is more for me right now. 42 years of more is more ain’t the way to get to where I’m working to get to. Can you see that I’m up to something with less is more. Jeez it may just be a step that I have to take to get out of my own way and have 10 client fall in my lap without trying. But right now I’m making it up that is too much and it is not for me. So that is my reality and maybe one day it won’t be. I know you all see something more for me and I bet I will see it too eventually. For now I am willing and wanting to keep taking steps.

    T, you would love to have me on co coaching. Thank you for that. Time and commitment have flames of possibility that I’m still working on fanning. Maybe Sabrina can give me some of that client game jet fuel to fan them with on co coaching? ???

    Are you willing to be enrolled in me taking one more step, knowing I will be willing to continue to be with breakthrough around time and commitment. And more. Can you trust that, while I’m going to blow it again and again and my SM will have me hiding and forgetting and not following up and playing small, I’m going to take another step. I’m going to continue.
    thanks for taking a look again.
    I know I know. Long winded!!!

     Tiffany Turner

    Hey Charlie! I love seeing you enroll and ask for what you want. Please don’t stop!

    I would love to have you on co-coaching, I think everyone in the world would get gold from that call. What has me unenrolled is your current relationship with time and commitment. I don’t see how co-coaching would be anything other than another thing on your to-do list that you’re sometimes empowered around, sometimes not, sometimes reliable to, sometimes not, sometimes present for, sometimes not, etc.

    How could you get what you wanted in joining co-coaching, from playing Reg or Client game full out? What about from playing Team full out? I see so many ways for your to be a demand for what you want, and sure being on co-coaching could be one of those avenues, I see lots of others as well 🙂

     Charlie Horn

    Thank You Brittany for your response.

    I am completing with Molly on the 14th of this month in 11 days. I am committed to getting hired before Friday of this week. With my historical performance of being resistant to getting clients it makes sense that it can be a both and conversation. I am enrolling you all in being on co coaching separate from Qualification. I get that if I am continuing to resist getting clients the possibility exists that I would be asked to throw in the towel on being on this AC team. From there I am making it up that being off co coaching wouldn’t be a conversation separate of being off the team. Or, you all wouldn’t say……. Charlie, you are about to be unqualified so lets talk about taking you off co coaching. Would you all be willing to align on keeping qualification as a separate conversation? With the understanding that I am committed to being qualified regardless of being on co coaching?

    It is still my intention to bring enrollment around being in a coach training program and not have a coaching practice be my goal. I relate to myself as being in a leadership program that has me expanding my capacity to let go of judgment and interpretation in service of having more in my life. More love, money, time, capacity, joy, impact, service, access to the full spectrum of my humanity in deeper bolder more integrated ways. I am still working on what that could look like inside of AC (what’s in it for you all, AC, me, my loved ones, participants). I see how my growth in coaching has been flat and I am not bringing what I see you all bringing too the table inside of our program. I see being on co coaching as support to my growth as a coach. Today I am still just as committed to being a coach (as access to my relationships being more connected, vulnerable, fun, fulfilling) as the day I joined the program and heard Kerry say the quality of her relationships with her loved ones would not be possible without this work. I see this program and the opportunities that the LDP hold for me in supporting me to have high quality relationships and all that comes with being in those high quality relationships sourcing all areas of my life.

    I get value from being here. I have spent too much of my capacity and focus on what I am not bringing to add value instead of what I am bringing that adds value. The bigger picture here is how does this enrollment and being on co coaching have me moving forward in all areas of my life. Including redesigning how I show up in AC not as building a coaching practice but as building my life. And I know it has all been made up in my head that I couldn’t have one without the other and that there has been a flavor of excuse to the whole thing because I could have been doing this from day one. And I am totally cool with setting that down and just moving forward from here.

    Brittany, does that answer your question?

    What do the rest of you need to be enrolled in me joining co coaching? What do you see in it for you to have me there? What do you hear in my being about it?



     Brittany Cotton

    Hey Charlie,

    Thanks for not stopping at “the way”, and being a demand for what serves you.

    I notice the piece that is missing for me is the gold of coaching that co coaching serves. My experience of your qualification and LDP conversation is that you are unsure where coaching actually fits into your life, and if its something you want to focus lots of time on. And being that you are on the verge of not being qualified, I notice I’m enrolled in who you are being about Co Coaching, but I’m confused. When do you go out of qual? are you already? Are you enrolling us in co coaching even if unqualified, or once you get back?

    I just went back and re read your Qualification thread, and I am not actually clear whats so. I know your client’s name is Molly, but I don’t remember when you two complete, and if that already happened or not?

    Anywho, thats whats missing for me. I know co coaching would have you be more in the know about our peeps, and would have you be giving us your gold. And I want to know whats the bigger picture, and how does this conversation exist inside of your qualification conversation?

    Love, B

     Charlie Horn


    I want to be on co coaching.

    Im not sure exactly what you all are up to but I want to be a part of it. I have heard now many times that there is a lot of value and I want in on it. It will support me in being more connected to our participant team. It will have me more connected to all of you. It will have me more engaged and who knows it may just be access to a breakthrough in wanting to get 3 FP clients. Listening in on your coach calls will have me be a better coach and give me more access to flexibility in meeting people where they are at in my life. I have had so much shift over the last year and a half and I can see so much more available. I have a breakthrough in owning my impact here. I get so scared to be seen and heard and Im tired of wasting my time with the pause button on.

    I have some gold over here to share. I see for you and this program the value I can add. I have some solid reflections to put in. I can get up under you all and be another layer in the foundation of this support structure. I can bring a flavor of SM that is uniquely capable of taking you out and that is some gold too!! I am also Life time committed to each of you. I am always willing to repair any rupture in relationship. forever. I can see that now as a superpower of  mine. As I sit here today there isn’t one person who I am in conflict with that I am not willing to go back in with to find a way to resolve whatever has been. And I have left some people with some stuff over the years.

    When I started this journey of personal growth after divorce. I started dating and it was ugly!! I started reading on how to date and it led me down the path to AC. I used to be even more introverted with personal relationship than when you all met me. Can you even believe the could be true!!! I was unwilling to take a chance. I remember watching a video about approaching a woman to ask for her number. This is something I was also unwilling to risk. This guy said “why the fuck not” what do I have to loose. four years ago that went clunk for me and I dove into what was keeping me from walking up to a woman I found attractive and talking to her. Its the same thing that has me not reaching out to get clients, the same thing that has had me not enrolling you in being on co coaching without 3 FP clients. So now after hearing that it happens and will happen if I decide to stay for the LDP program I have to ask myself  WHY THE FUCK NOT. Its ridiculous for me to not be a demand to be on co coaching. I am a demand. If this were next year and all things being the same except the additional structures and payment for LDP I would be on co coaching.

    What say yee?

    What are your objections and reflections?

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