1 year, 7 months ago #216837Charlie HornParticipant
Thanks for letting us into your Life even more. I too am looking forward to reading your books and anything you write. You are an amazing mom for taking Noah to Japan and fulfilling on your promise to him. I also see opportunity in practicing enrollment. I am curious what other areas of your life would be empowered from exercising that enrollment muscle? What are you getting out of story and convincing? What would be possible for you and the people you love when everyone is enrolled in you and your vision all over your life? What is there now that would no longer be there by adding enrollment?
I hope noah finds a deep sense of groundedness in connecting to his heritage. I am excited for you both to be on this trip simply for the experience of travel. As a parent I am doubly excited for Noah and what he will take away from it.1 year, 7 months ago #216284
I do hear that. And I will practice. Thank you!1 year, 7 months ago #216240Tiffany TurnerParticipant
In case where I’m at is unclear, I wanted to say that I’m aligned and enrolled and please miss these calls AND, my stand is that you practice a new muscle moving forward, in service of you and your super powers.1 year, 7 months ago #213743Aarti MallyaParticipant
Nichole I definitely support you not being on the calls and thanks so much for sharing. I always appreciate your vulnerability the things that have gone on in your life.1 year, 8 months ago #213627Jeff MillerParticipant
Loved what T and Brittany have put in so far. When I do enrollment from obligation, it sucks. As some of you have experienced from me. It is not genuine and it has this feel of I don’t really want to but if YOU need it then I guess I will. Kind of feels like an F off. Definitely not my commitment. What has worked for myself is having the idea that I get to practice enrollment with all of you. That you all will point some things out in support of me being a leader in the world. What are you hearing for yourself?
And I am enrolled in you missing the calls as long as it is clear what you will be taking on and how you will be getting supported without actually being on the calls.1 year, 8 months ago #213534
I responded before I saw your post, Brittany, and I notice how my response was the version of “none at all”. Haha!! I guess my assumption that I needed to enroll the team in missing the calls is because when I went to Italy, I was told that I needed to get the team’s enrollment. I was only missing a day of calls then as well.1 year, 8 months ago #213532
I honestly don’t see anything in this for you or anyone on the team. This is about me and Noah doing something together. And I could be on the calls if I need to. But that seems unnecessary. And I don’t see how anyone else would get anything out of me not being on the calls, but I also don’t think it would take anything away.1 year, 8 months ago #213528Brittany CottonParticipant
Thanks for this, as you already know, I love getting to see the inside workings of your mind and life. I am already ready to buy your book as I know it will be a page turner. I partially agree with what T put in, but mine is a little augmented. I notice there are two sides to your enrollments: either lots of story, back history, passion, and convincing, or none at all. The none at all bit is the piece we have been pointing out to you recently, where you see something, and share with us what you see without enrolling us in how else it could go, or what you see from leader.
You might look at what has you bounce between these two, and what is your relationship with enrollment? What does it mean to you? What does it look like? Do you know when you are doing it? Do you know when you are intentionally enrolling? Accidentally? Or intentionally not? What does the past, and history have to do with here and today when it comes to enrollment? Consider the story telling lands as convincing. What is another muscle you could flex?
I personally am of the mindset that we don’t need to enroll our team in missing 1 day of calls, though I also see the benefit of practicing enrollment. When I say that my own story comes up of, “you are a bad LIT for saying that.” I myself battle with how I was trained, how its gone, and rules. AND one of the breakthroughs I am working on is really bringing me to my leadership and what I see. And from that authentic place of trusting myself: I don’t have it we need to create a big enrollment around missing one day of calls. We live powerful moving and beautiful lives, and sometimes this mean we just can’t be two places at once. So we simply need structures to still be in OUR commitments at any given time. So it can look like ensuring someone is bringing a request around your peeps to co coaching, declaring to read the notes from production and put in what you see, etc. Whatever it is, simply not leaving your commitment, but standing and acting for all to happen at the same time.
I am totally aligned with you missing calls, inside of you creating a structure that has your needs met- both as a team mate, and as a mom, traveler, goddess, keeper of peace on the earth.
AND TO BE CLEAR: if someone is continually missing calls, and it becomes a pattern that is a different story. Yes Charlie, I am speaking to you. Whats up dude? Where are you?!1 year, 8 months ago #213516Tiffany TurnerParticipant
Hi Love –
I’m excited for this trip, and for Noah to experience Japan!
What I have for you is that my experience of you when enrolling, is more like convincing or story telling. I suspect convincing and story telling are very valuable in marketing and selling, and so it’s no wonder you’re so dang good at it.
If you’re willing to build a new muscle, I’d challenge you to practice enrollment from: What’s in it for me (that we got through your post), and what’s in it for you (currently missing)?
Should you find yourself in any resistance, consider what becomes available to you when you add the skill of picture painting of Whats In It For Them, to your tool belt (hint: it’s WAY more than missing a day of team calls ;).
T.1 year, 8 months ago #213437
Hi team! I just booked a trip for me and Noah to go to Japan March 22-31. The 31st is during 5th week, so there’s no conflict there. The calls I would be missing are on 3/24/2020. It will be reg, production, and co-coaching. There is no T-time on 3/24 because we have module in March. So those are the deets, and here’s the enrollment…
When Noah was two years old, he was not your average two year old. He used the word “thrice” correctly in a sentence when he was two. He saved himself from choking. He could read an entire book. He understood and was curious about a lot, including his heritage.
He never knew his dad and I to be together. Noah was the result of an office romance. His dad, Joey, was the Vice President of Sales of the company where I was the Graphic Coordinator. It was a kitchen electronics company called Aroma. We lived together for a while after I got pregnant and through the first bit of Noah’s life, but we weren’t good together. I know I am not perfect, but Joey was hard to live with.
Joey grew up in foster care. His mother committed suicide when he was five, leaving him, his three older sisters, and his two-year old brother in the care of his alcoholic father. His father was a war veteran who met his mom in Japan and basically brought her back to the US and turned her into a baby factory and physically abused her. Once she was gone, the kids were given up for adoption by their father. Joey was never adopted. He bounced from one unimaginable, horribly abusive situation to another. The stories make me cry when I think about them, so I try not to. Eventually he ran away and lived on the streets when he was 13.
One day he ran into one of his older sisters, who was married and had a home and a job. She gave him her phone number but he didn’t call her. Soon after that he was arrested and had one phone call to make, so he called her. That is is sister Patty. She took him in and made him go back to school. Eventually he would finish high school, join the marines, graduate college, and become the VP of Sales at a kitchen electronics company called Aroma.
I fell for him pretty hard. He was much older than me, but I didn’t realize it until it was too late. He’s asian! ?Good genes. I thought maybe he was in his early 30’s (he was 40). He thought I was in my early 30’s. (I was 23.) We dated. I got pregnant. And realized pretty quickly afterward that the age gap was a bigger deal than we thought and that Joey might have some issues that a loving/supportive girlfriend can’t help with. Not that I was free from my issues either! But there was some rage and manic swings of lashing out followed up by desperate breakdowns. It was a lot for a 20-something girl.
He wanted to get married and make our family a family. I made him leave. As he was moving out, he found out from his sister who had hired a private investigator that his mom was alive. She’d been alive the whole time. She was re-married and living in Virginia. Joey entered a new spiral of emotional experiences I could not handle. I didn’t know how. He begged to stay. He needed someone. And I still made him leave. To this day, that remains one of the most difficult decisions of my life and I still wonder if it was a mistake. I recently apologized to him for it because all these years later it still haunted my conscience.
He moved out and scheduled a trip to go see his mom. Despite having lived the life he did, and been subjected to the awful things he experienced being abused by foster parents growing up, he had already forgiven her and just wanted to be in her life. When he got there, she revealed to him that she had brain cancer and she died two weeks later.
So this all happened when Noah was two. He didn’t know the details, but he was in tune enough to understand the complex energy between his dad and me and the pain his dad was experiencing. He learned that he had a grandma, and then had it taken away all within the span of a couple weeks. He wanted to know more about her and his family and life and people in general. I made him a promise then that when he turned 15 years old I would take him on a trip to Japan so he could connect with his heritage.
Of course I had no way of knowing at the time how or if I was going to be able to do that. At the time I was living paycheck to paycheck, and would continue to do so for the majority of his life. Only in the recent years have I been able to see the possibility of actually taking my son to Japan. It’s something that we have talked about literally his entire life, and the time has come. It’s going to be the trip of a lifetime for him, and for us together. I have his dad’s blessing to be the one to have this experience with him, and he’s excited for us. Joey and I have a really good relationship now. It took a while to get over our shit we were holding on each other, and YEARS of really painful custody battles, but we are very close now.
Noah and I are taking the trip on these dates because it’s Noah’s spring break and due to the issues he’s having at the school, I do not want to take him during a time that removes him from class and has him set farther back in his grades. So it’s the best time for us to go and I technically could be on the calls because we get in Monday afternoon and I could put myself somewhere to attend the calls. But I don’t think it would serve me, Noah, or the team to have me trying to squeeze that in during our trip.
I am thinking back on my enrollment email for my Italy trip and Brittany reflecting that there was a lot of “me” in the enrollment, and I would say in this one there is even more “me”, but really through the lens of Noah and Joey. This trip is actually not about me. It’s about Noah, and me and him experiencing something together. And I see something for the team in supporting me during the trip so that I can have some time off. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch, honestly. ?I don’t know what I see for y’all. Buuuuuut, I also think it’s one day of calls so it’s not a big gap I’ll be leaving and I mostly wrote all of this just to share and because I’m in a writing mood. What do y’all see for me?
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