1 year, 3 months ago #209927Aarti MallyaParticipant
T. I am aligned and agree.1 year, 3 months ago #209760Tiffany TurnerParticipant
Thanks to both of you for reading and responding.
Charlie, will you continue to practice speaking inside of your intention. I notice I got lost in your post, and it wasn’t until the last few lines that I was clear in what your intention was. Could you clarify, are you out of qualification as a Support Coach? I wasn’t sure from your post.
I also notice the opposition to what I reflected about your cycle. Regardless of what the circumstance is – Lillian, Amber, business priorities, family qualms – can you see the pattern of your circumstances running the show? Do you see anything around how our team has been trained in letting your circumstances run your life? Is that what you want from team? To lean back and leave you in your circumstances? If it isn’t, what do you want team to stand for, for you?
Mike – thanks for owning that this post took you out! I especially love what you reflected about how your automatic wants people to leave you alone. Could we align that the intention of this post is a stand for that automatic to get broken up? Last I checked, Connection is one of your biggest and brightest intentions on this earth. 🙂1 year, 3 months ago #209702Aarti MallyaParticipant
I feel triggered by this and want to get defensive by saying I am showing up more, I’m trying, and blah blah blah. But I also know that one of my SM specialties is to high light my pains, say what I am doing, and have people feel sorry for me how that looks and leave me alone. I also know that I have had less action than action all over so I guess I can’t really talk much. Regardless I acknowledge the post and the stand for me to get out of my story. I will keep moving forward, updating team where I’m at, and ask for support.
Charlie fyi I read your post, let me know if I can support you with completion or anything else.1 year, 3 months ago #209027Charlie HornParticipant
Thanks T for the call out. And from a place of love and support. This is super appreciated. First I want to own a little tinge of defensiveness that came up. There is more than Lillian at play for me and it feels a bit like throwing darts at what has me not enrolled fully in reg, client game, being qualified as support coach and not program coach, team communication, playing all out in AC and more. I get this is my judgment and I also want to say I have more happening over here and I will take this opportunity to share.
I am selling my house. It’s been a lot of doing since our last module and I’m in escrow now selling my house and buying my new house. I’m caught up on what is necessary to get my house ready to sell and qualified for a new loan. It takes something in the doing department that has my time taken more than usual.
mom the same front I have been putting off refinancing a loan for 1.4 million on one of my properties. I have a hard money loan for 275k due in a little more than a year and if I don’t get that paid it wouldn’t be good. So I have been working on that as well.
I have a small vacant lot I own with a really good friend and we recently had a permit approved that made the property useable. We didn’t intend to sell it ever but I have another egos friend that had to have it for his business and the stars aligned to where I can’t say no to his offer which has had me in negotiations and handling contracts to move forward.
Its been 2 months since I threw in the towel with amber. She finally came over on Sunday and got her girls bikes and surf board and some clothes she left behind. I have been dating and having fun meeting new women. I’m taking my time with reconciling what actually happened with amber and I keep landing on the same thing that happened with Julie. That is I was being the victim to there behavior and I was being insecure and defended which was a catalyst to the results I was getting. From that place I have work to do before I am willing to go back in with someone fully committed.
Julie has me most taken out in my life. I am so at affect of her defended posturing. I texted her tonight asking if I could have Lillian for our family North Pole party. It’s really awesome for the kiddos. Every year some of us dresses up as Santa and his elves and all the kids get to sit on Santa’s lap and ask for what they want. I remember when Julie and I were still married she refused to go and wouldn’t let Lillian go because she didn’t think my family liked her. Anywho tonight I asked her to have Lillian but not to ask Lillian unless she was supportive of Lillian going because Lillian would know and inherently be forced to chose between us. Her one sent ace response was “thanks for assuming the negative” that’s all I got. So I told her I truly didn’t mean it to be negative and I am simply looking at it for Lillian and appologized. Historically that is where the conversation will end for a couple days. Then I will go back for another swing if it’s something I really want for me or for Lillian. This last week Lillian told me I’m always thinking she is sad when she is with her mom and I’m always blowing up her moms phone. She said her mom told her that 🙁 so how do I reconcile how to be with Julie? I just have to get complete and keep coming from essence. And I do. And she is responsive, sometimes. But mostly angry and guarded and ready to pounce with the dagger to the heart of her criticizing words.
my great uncle died a couple of months ago. He was a brilliant man and the last grand figure in my family. That was tough for me because I didn’t go see him in the end and I’m still torn as to wether it was something I should have done. My uncle who I worked for as a mechanic for seven years and had a falling out with is dying right now. He’s been haveing health issues for a long time and my mom just told me he probably isn’t going to be making it out of the hospital this time. His two sons and I were close and we all went through this firing/quitting/I’m no longer going to be your friend or family event which has me again hesitant to go see my uncle before he dies.
my sisters and brother and I formed a partnership and bought a house to fix up and rent and we just finished the 7 month long eviction clean up and rehab and got a new tenant into the house over the weekend. It could have been a little less painful but I was leaning on my family to make things happen instead of driving the boat. I see how I could have been more involved and not done the work myself. What a great learning experience and it created some tension in my relationship with my siblings. We have come out the other side of it better off and I’m grateful for how I handled it all because there was mucho gold in it for me and my sisters relationships.
those are the big things that have me distracted and at affect of coaching and all things AC. With the holidays I have given myself permission to fall back into my normal cycle further than what may be ideal but I am also really thankful for this because it has been another opportunity for creating that deeper knowing around what is and isn’t serving me.
what isn’t serving me is staying up late and getting up late. Not playing out loud with team. Not being qualified as program coach (yes I was paying attention when red flags were taking production call time for mike and I when we could have spent that time in cocoaching. I see the breakdown and the power leak for team from that and from all the time I have missed playing client game at module. I loved T time today and it made me realize what I have been missing because I am not qualified.
anywho I am going to stop here and finish by saying thanks again T and team You are allbeautiful humans. Damn it how lucky am I to be here with you all. I’m going to continue to re presence myself to why I’m here. It’s to love the hell out of all the people in my life so unconditionally they can’t help but love themselves. I want Julie to be filled up so she can fill Lillian up. Have you all seen the Mr Rogers movie with Tom Hanks? It’s genius. And I want to be Mr Rogers. Well I want to possess the qualities he had and still be me going 120 miles per hour down the Baja peninsula in my race car. I don’t know if he would have done that. Maybe.
I declare to bring my breakdowns in real time and let it land however it lands without fear of being unworthy or creating a mess. I declare to handle my life in such a way that it allows for All things AC from the place of generating multitudes of unconditional love all around me. I declare to lean on team to be the clearing for me and generate the clearing for our participants. I declare I will get hired 1 more time before next module and plug the power leak my unqualified dingy is creating while its bouncing around on the side of the team ship as its getting drug through the water like an anchor.
I declare I will create the structures mecessary to overcome my resistance to playing reg and respond to the reg emails. Thanks for getting in there Mike and showing me the way. No more excuses. It’s all cpr from here. And it’s going to take some work. The completion diet is back on and from a sustainable pace.1 year, 4 months ago #208820Tiffany TurnerParticipant
This thread is for you!
I love you both, and I’m rooting for your lives to work for you, and I notice y’all seem to be stuck in some of your own sameness – Charlie in the cycle of Lillian’s emotional state, and Mike in overwhelm fueled by a money breakdown.
What I see as distinctly different about these two breakdowns, is the impact they have on team. I’m a stand for breakdowns to be normal and welcomed AND for them to not create a long-term power leaks on team.
I see an opportunity to be a demand, as team, for everyone to practice showing up Clear Present and Responsible (CPR) for all our team calls. No more shenanigans. And this doesn’t mean we can’t have our stuff pop up, it just means we’re all in-action to clear our incompletions out of our personal space, and not bring them/smear them on team during team calls. This is so important because Team Being is real! And how we be, the participants be.
So Mike & Charlie. with so much love, it seems that the soup du jour of Lillian’s Needs and Money Overwhelm have reinforced disempowering stories for you both, and it occurs that you’ve both trained the team in relating to your breakdowns as normal, and where we should leave you.
I’m clear that these two breakdowns aren’t how you want your lives to go, and I’m calling team forth to Stand for a new story, so as to not reinforce the thread of your current stories.
What else do you all see? What’s the impact to Charlie and Mike in staying where they’re stuck? What’s the impact to each of us in not Standing for something different? What’s the impact to Team/Participants in settling in this comfortable discomfort of Mike & Charlie’s breakdowns?
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