Mike D breakdown and support request

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  • #206874
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    Sabrina, thanks so much, your love and support along with others means the world to me.

    Right now where I’m at, what I’m scared about, excited, and think “I need.” Along with what I’m putting into place to make it happen.

    I have been dating Sophia for 6 weeks now. We are currently playing house right now for 8 total nights, tonight will be night 3 🙂

    I brought this up to her a few weeks ago as I had the gap in my house sitting schedule. She said to never hesitate about asking her to stay at her place if I need a place to stay. I told her I was kinda of scared to ask cause it’s so soon. Also it wasn’t that I need a place to stay as I still had time and could figure it out like I have for the last year. I saw it as an opportunity. She was an immediate yes without any hesitation and excited about it, as was I.

    A few days ago I picked her up from the airport when she got back in town from being outside of the county on some Island for almost a week. Then we started out “playing house.” We have talked many times about extensive traveling. We have now set the date of March 18th to go outside of the country and do some traveling for awhile. Right now I don’t really have much more details than that. Besides thinking maybe though Mexico and going to Costa Rica or who knows.

    Anyways I could say many things about the relationship moving fast and so much there. But I have it that is all exciting and not the thing that I’m really feeling the scarcity on much.

    It’s the money thing for me to feel comfortable and where I can’t do any Lyft driving. So what I need is to have my 1 client paying $1000 a month and to have 9 others paying $550 or more. For this my educated guess is about 10 sample session to 1 hire.

    In service of this…my vision/dreams coming together and having it all my new practices, intentions, and declarations are:

    – Take off with Sophia outside of the country the on March 18th.

    – Have 10 clients paying $550 or more a month by March 18th.

    – Have 5 new sample sessions a week. (I will make another post on my intentions and request people put what they have done for getting clients.)

    – I will and invite others to post on GroupMe AM intentions for the day and PM results for client game.

    – 2 completions a week with others to be set up.

    – Daily acknowledgment from others to be set up.

    – Talked with Sophia about 2 hours a week where we work on our goals together. With 1 hours on our own together and 1 together sharing and talking them out. Will start this week and hatch out the details. I’m thinking 1st alone and together. 2nd hour I’m think 15 min each sharing on our own individual goals-What’s working, what’s not, what’s somethings different, etc… Then 30 min on our goals together.

    – I will be talking with Sophia this week about checking in with me and how not let me get passed her on my bullshit for when I need support.

    Right now I am feeling under the weather. Today I am taking it easy. This week I am incorporating 40 hours of Lyft driving, time with Sophia, AC forum and emails, exercising that I have been slipping up on, creating my pipeline, going to my 1 usual networking event, some phone calls, and incorporating all my structures.

    Next week I will be full on with my commitments, giving it everything I’ve got, and getting 5 sample sessions scheduled a week.

    #206861
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    Hi Mike;

    Thanks for your reply!!!

    Mike, you seriously do not have to do life alone, man. I know you’re trying very, very hard. And I know it is painful and stressful right now. Imma speak for the whole team here: We love you, dude. Connection and support doesn’t have to mean more declarations and things on the ole to do list- you have a whole team of loving, heart forward coaches just super down to love you and lift you up.

    Magic wand time: what do you actually really, really need? I hear money. I hear time. I hear less stress. I hear space. what else? How can I/we support you?

    All of my absolutely unconditional love;

    Sabs

     

     

    #206830
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    Thanks for you reply and questions. I think I need to explain more detail to then answer those, I’ll try to keep it short and flat.

    The biggest things for me right now is my money break down. I have been “swimming up stream.” I have two credit cards with interest balances that have been getting the min payments made. I have mostly stopped adding to those but still add. I have another credit card that is not being charged interest. This card I keep paying on and charging on, trying to keep up where I can avoid interest. I hate interest with passion if I’m the one receiving it. I have my car payment that I have been good on. I have a 401k loan that is $615 a month where I am two months behind. If I go pass three month I will have to pay a lot in interest though the IRS. Oh and I have two tires that are dangerously bald. I just made a 401k payment with a few days to spare and paid for tires and getting them installed on Dec 4th.

    I have been driving for Lyft for almost two months, slowly but surly increasing my hours there. For the past 4 weeks I have had the intention of making $700 with Lyft which would require about 40 hours a week. I have not gotten too close, nor have I planed well for it. I am in process of creating, having, and following a winnable schedule. The last two weeks I have hit that goal and that needs to continue for a bit.

    Other stuff: In the last 4 to 6 weeks I have had the intention of the Lyft things just said. I took on 30 days of Facebook vulnerability post that are not easy for me and takes a lot of my energy. I took on the practice of talking to two random women a day and signing up for 5 to 10 speed dating events. This was to find my potential soulmate and get out of my comfort zone, connect with others, go past where normally stop and so on.  I have been focusing on scheduling and actually having some fun and doing things with other. That may seem weird but that is hard for me. I stopped having coffee at the house and took my coffee consumption down by probably 90%. I feel there’s a few more things I have taken on that I can’t think of.

    Also I now have Sophia in my life that I have mentioned. So with Lyft, Sophia, and trying to have other fun there’s been a lot I’m looking to add into my life that has happened in a sort period of time.

    Another thing I have always “said/had a context” I am a slow reader and writer… and perfectionist. What that means is I have spent enormous/disgusting amounts of time and energy on forum post and emails. (Which is one of the big reasons I have ask for a break) My new thing and practice with my schedule is having 5 days of 30 min block time for forum reading and writing. This will be a break though for me in many ways. Along with helping me to speak up and speak quickly…

    I have been actually scheduling and being more intentional about my time. I am now seeing how I can incorporate some other things though out my Lyft driving to maximize my time and be able to have it all. (Making phone calls, reading, writing, etc…)

    –summary/update–

    – I’m moving forward on handling my money breakdown

    – I am being intentional about my weekly and daily schedule. I am working on and playing with scheduling in everything down to making food, eating, showering, etc…

    – I am spending 30 min 5 days a week on reading and writing on AC forum and emails. Once that time is done I’m done. This will elevate pressure of time for me. It will help me to not over think things, say what comes to mind, and just put it out there.

     

     

    #206275
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    MIKE!!!

    I talked to Mike this morning and he said he reads the forum but doesn’t reply.

    Mike! Can you hear me out there?! Please reply!!! I wanna know what you think! Or better yet, what you don’t think!

    Mike, would you be willing to write a reply without overthinking it?! Just like I am doing it right now?!

    Pizza, pizza, pizza.

    All my love;
    Sabs

    #205667
     Charlie Horn
    Participant

    Mike,

    thanks for airing it all out here. I’m curious where you are at now. After putting it all out here? Where do you want to go with it all now?
    I support you with whatever you choose for yourself to get your needs met and If setting down all things AC is it then give it a go and see what happens. Every step is an opportunity to move towards what you want and where you want to be. I’m really curious if you need to set down all things AC. Actually what I am curious about is what that means and what that looks like for you?

    #205578
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    Hi Mike and Team!

    I sent Mike a text last night in the interest of playing out loud on team 🙂 and I also see opportunity to share more here, too.

    Mike- I totally get the desire to pull away and “take a break.” You are not alone. With each mile I drove North from San Diego after the last module I felt more relaxed and easeful. I know what it is to have a very strong inclination to “cut and run” when it is “too much.” I also know that I am capable of creating that relaxed, easeful space even in the face of confronting, annoying, uncomfortable and challenging stuff. I know you are powerful enough to do that for yourself. So are we all. And we are even more powerful together.

    I thought and meditated on the conversation I would have with Ryan Muldoon since I was “owning” him at the last module around not quitting when he felt like it. Basically, I kept it real short and sweet, at lunch after service project, I said, “Hey man, this program and this work is actually designed to have you want to quit so if you quit when you want to quit then all you have done is commit to living the exact life that got you here in the first place, you know, the life you don’t want to be living any more. If you stay in when you want to quit and just decide that you will be IN no. matter. what. and all of what that means, then you actually create an opportunity for yourself to live a different sort of life from the inside out.”

    I am so happy that God gave me those words for Ryan. Because God actually gave me those words for me. Because, lo and behold, only a few hours after that conversation I was like, “Fuck. This. I want out.” And God was like, “Naw, girl, you listen to yourself over there. And you stay IN. And that means truly IN. Like, not just in the room being all weird and tense and manic, that means like IN and ON this team. Let them love you.”

    So, Mike, that’s what I got for you, buddy. Let us love you, gosh darn it! We already do love you!!! Are you willing to allow us to support you and hold you up with our love? Are you willing to actually get all the way IN this damn swimming pool? The water is warm. And not from poop soup. Promise.

    Would you be willing to share with us what it would mean for you life if you did get ALL THE WAY IN with your commitment to this team, to your client game, to your relationships and to your whole life? What does ALL THE WAY IN mean to you? What does that create in your life? I am so excited to hear what that would be for you!!!

    Love you;
    Sabs

     

    #205432

    Hey Mike! Glad you got supported!

    A couple of Qs, yea.

    What do you have that “putting down all things AC” will allow or make possible, and what will be different after 5th week?

    I am interested in you moving toward something, and this post reads like you’re moving away from AC and if you put it down it will alleviate some of “your stuff”

    I hear you intending presence, and a breakthrough in trust. How do you have it that putting AC down allow for that?

    #205401
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    Hi team,

    I have been MIA and in breakdown. I haven’t read or replied to emails and forum. I have stayed up with the group me messages. I’ve watched the Marco Polo’s and love seeing and hearing things from everyone but haven’t replied at all. None the less I have not been present. Even when I’m on call I’m not quite all there cause I’m in my stuff.

    I’ve backed myself into a corner because I feel like if I ask for support there’s always going to be something to be said, going to commitments, and actions and putting more on my plate. So I feel like I can’t ask for support cause it will just make things harder and put more pressure on my. I have it that’s my own stuff and my relationship with support.

    My normal pattern is to get overwhelmed, shut down, throw a pity party, get angry, and then take action from force and fear. My intention is to break this up and to have a break though in trust, being fully transparent, authentic, vulnerable, and ask for what I really need. To have team in the knowing and in service of being apart of this team even if I feel I need a break which is what I’m getting to. So I can be sourced and be present and show up for others.

    My request is that you know and allow me to put all AC stuff down this week and next. Great thing is next week is 5th week.

    I am starting to way over think this now and get into all my feels. I don’t think you need nor want me to get into all the stories and feels here. So I am just going to stop here now with I’m open to any comments, questions, concerns, reflections, etc…

     

     

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