My Stand For Each Of You

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  • #219360
    Hey T – yea there’s a pendulum swing scenario that has my attention, energy, and focus living between the extremes rather than in the calm consistent center where the power source is. When my client numbers mean in the AC context that me and my business carry the “unqualified” label it drives up my disempowered contexts of not enough and from that fear-based place it can have me in my scramble-handle context and compartmentalize love, attention, power, etc.
    One day last summer Mark asked me “what would have it go differently?” and I said “I’ll have to be willing to be in the breakdown long enough” and what I meant was I will have to stop resisting the breakdown. I have to sit in the breakdown and BREAK DOWN the shit I make up and the ways I be with that shit. So that’s where I’ve been. NOT handling it so as to look enough or feel better. Basking in experimentation with my business ventures in spite of “being disqualified”, loving the nonsense and the humanity and the brilliance and the crazy that is me. I made having 1 client mean something other than being disqualified. So I think yea, I could’ve shaken my etch-a-sketch differently and just had it go differently in a blink and a wink, but the be with I generated from the deeper-darker place had me transform al little more of the residual muck so as to allow myself on the regular to hold myself as a woman who gets to have her life work – including her business – but for me it’s really about being a person who doesn’t have to fight the people she loves and fear their departures and disappointments. So yea I see where you’re pointing and whether it’s me or you or Charlie, let’s all just stop having our lives not working be justification for why we can’t be in our power. In AC or wherever we choose to show up. As far as adding value or taking value I choose adding value. Just not separate from creating a life and a being that will. ♥
    Who else will lean into what is available from our team stand?
    #217285

    Since my last post, Britt, you said you were excited to respond. I’m ready for what you see!

    Also, I have begun compiling a biz wellbeing tracker of stuff I do Daily, Weekly, etc. and it’s incomplete, but I will complete it and post it by the end of the week.

    #216815
     Jeff Miller
    Participant

    This is an amazing thread. I love that moment in the program when the “gloves” come off. This is that moment. Love when we have built enough trust to actually say what we see.

    T & Britt, thanks for reflecting what you see. Right now I am actually outside at a coffee shop giving the forum its due time. I am not rushing and writing what I think people want to hear. It is so cool to be with feedback. This is something that has not always been easy for me internally. Externally I have put on a good show, but now it is really awesome to allow myself to be with it.

    You all have my commitment that I will bring more of me to this team. And I will empower each structure in my life fully. I am getting some amazing feedback from a lot of coaches and what is clear for me is that I need to reinvent and level up my what for. I have slipped into complacency, and I don’t like it. I am excited to stretch my leadership and expand all of the games that I am playing. Thanks for the continued support and call forth.

    #216798
     Charlie Horn
    Participant

    WOW!!!!

    I am so enrolled in being on this team and shifting how things have gone for me in my relationships. I am happy to be with what you all are sharing. It is great to know more about everyone and I am committed to playing out loud, being present with this work outside of module and playing for support all the way around this team for you for me for Lillian for my future Love for all the people I choose to be with. I am 100% ready to be beyond the hiding!! I appreciate beyond words the STAND you all are for me. Get ready for some major Breakthrough over here in self worth and Actually practicing from empowered.

    T, You are Bad Ass stand and more, what a gift. I have been reconciling what came up for me from our talk on Tuesday and this thing around Amnesia, I am cracked open over this and seeing how my SM has me in this cycle of Hide and Peek. During module I get so much love and connection it has me in essence. Out of module I let my “Im not good enough/Im bad” run the show. Raging reject and judging gesture have a hay day pulling the strings softly while I tell myself I’m getting enough and don’t need to do more with coaching. This leaves the back door open for me to go get real busy in doing it all myself in all arenas of my life. stuck in time scarcity. I finished the context exercise with Laura today and had a huge win with shifting Im bad to I am the possibility of time. I will post my breakthrough and actions from it in another thread. I am committed to letting go of all the doing that has had me stuck in a time scarcity context. I’m done with bulldozing my way through my daily life. leaving everyone including me at affect of my “Im bad” context.  Im committed to building connection and relationship in every part of my life not just at module.

     

    #216778
     Tiffany Turner
    Participant

    J, thanks for being with the reflections and choosing not to stay in “Bye.” I love you SOOOOO much, and I’m so clear how much power you have. Thanks for being willing to generate even more of it, here.

    LKT – thanks for your rigor on this thread, and showing up so powerfully for all these stands for you. You are modeling Courage and Willingness and Partnership and Trust and a boatload of other things, both in your Being, and what you’re bringing. Thank you, and please don’t stop.

    It seems that in between all these variations of stand for your business to work, we’re missing something about integration. It occurs that your business requires nearly all your attention, and there isn’t much left for supporting other people on team, or generating the program. I want to be clear that all of our businesses should require our attention and effort, AND, I’m looking at what it’s going to take for you to play consistently in business (so as to not be in qualification breakdown/money-based marriage breakdowns) and on this team for all the things that aren’t your business.

    I think about module 1, when Nichole signed up two of her employees to work with you and Juliana, in support of your qualification games. At evening clearing, Kerry said something like, “Now go share the same generosity that’s been shared with you.” I love how At Cause you are to get your needs met, to ask for any support you need, and allow for anyone to be The One to you in those moments. Part of my call forward of you, is to give back, to play for your business to be thriving, and for our team and program to thrive, because of what you bring to it. My experience of you on team, is similar to what KZ put in around Charlie – adding value? Or taking value? And this has nothing to do with how much we love Charlie, or how much we love you. Can you see where I’m pointing?

    Britt, thanks for the call forth in RIGOR. I honestly don’t know what the deal is that I can bring all this power here, and Ryan Mac is so disempowered. I could use support looking at my side of the street and who I’m being, that has it going this way. Team, please share what you see for me.

    #216763

    Thanks B – It’s good to hear that you don’t get any of that cause I’m over here thinking it’s obvious. But it would be to me, as it’s my life. I very well may have gaps in standing for myself to be seen and known for my wins as a way of hiding and controlling and staying safe from the vulnerability of being judged, unliked, whatever…. I definitely don’t stand on a mountain top and say “listen up, bitches!”

    Ok so how do we bust up the sramble-handle context that keeps me playing catch-up, half present, in my power *if, and not have to be absent somewhere in order to be present somewhere else…..?

    Your statement, “If the AC structure allows us to generate breakthroughs, it also in ways allows us to stay exactly how we are.” Yes.

    So this is love and being bootcamp…..Maybe a structure like an action log for my business. Like a 360 degree wellbeing tracker for my business that I create and send to you and team weekly filled out with the stuff I’ll do daily, weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly, etc. until my biz is sufficiently supported to need a new level of accountability.

    Would you and team align on generating “places to look” for me – and I’ll compile this and not simply play outloud whatever that means to my feelings and whatever scarcity contexts I’m in or out of, but I’ll send a weekly report on? My question mark is me thinking “is it a fix?” and I have it it’s a strategy for me to be in action more than not. To be seen and have you all up under me. My question mark is also, what would have you enrolled in getting into that degree of nitty gritty with me? What do you need besides it to go differently that is juicy and enrolling for you? Since you said that bringing us up enhances your life, what does it going differently make possible for your life and leadership?

    #216758

    Juliana so what actions are you in today?

    I love Dora (Dowa, as Emory would say 😉 for you. She not only always knows where she’s going she has a map that talks to her about where she’s going and the things she’ll cross over or under first. “Bridge. Tunnel. Life of Dreams! Bridge. Tunnel. Life of Dreams! Bridge. Tunnel. Life of Dreams!” She says it three times and then she asks “where do we go first?” I’m like c’mon we already said Bridge was first (eye roll) BUT it’s just like presencing ourselves over and over again to the milestones along any journey. She has 18 different ways to remember what’s next and it’s predictable (if annoying!) but it works.

    Please count on me as a support structure. I wonder if I’ve trained you in something that has you not reaching out for support or created a dynamic that has you not wanting my support. Other than what you’re bringing to the group calls, forum and GroupMe I don’t know how team is in relationship and supporting you in this. Is it just me? =)

    #216721
     Juliana Sih
    Participant

    Wow this thread is pretty scrumptious, confronting—for a hot second it made me want to just dissipate and be like “bye”, but thats not what I actually want and I know this is true STAND.

    I see what both of you are saying. T, I bring a different version of my power everywhere I go. My value is directly correlated with how much power I bring. If I perceive that I have lots of value, I speak up more, am engaged and present. Where I perceive that I have less value, I show up more timid, observant and become backseat leader. Not really serving me. It becomes a judgement game and hierarchy that is disempowering that empowering. I hear the call forth to stand in my power everywhere and see the value I bring in every interaction, conversation and moment.

    Britt, yes this all feels familiar. It is a year old. And I am tired of it. In talking with my coach, we distinguished that I have enough awareness to last me the next 6 months. And what is insufficient is my presence and action. I often don’t know where the time goes or what I even do all day because I am half distracted, jumping from one thing and another and not intentional about my time. The conversation I need to be having is around structures. Structures to keep me focused, intentional and in action. Not being in integrity causes me so much angst. And yet, I distract or avoid doing the thing that would have me in integrity. I easily lose sight of what my big “what for” is. Dora the Explorer is never lost, she knows exactly where she is going. I know where I am going, I am committed to stopping all the distractions that get in the way of getting there.

    So sufficient structures to take action and intentions is the conversation I need to be in. My default is to want awareness and figure out what context is getting in my way. There is nothing in my freaking way, just more action and to not let myself off the hook when I perceive I’ve done enough or gotten some results.

    #216479
     Nichole
    Participant

    LKT, thanks for sharing all that you have been through with your coaching practice and your work at AC, while juggling becoming a mom, thriving into motherhood, and balancing it all with being a wife. I am in awe right now. You are such a badass!!! I suspected you were a badass. You are. I enjoyed what you shared around carrying around your breakdown. I’m honestly a little overwhelmed by your share. I have a lot of thoughts and without the deeper relationship that Britt and T have, there’s a lot for me to absorb and read again to fully understand what you need and where you’re at. But it was magnificent to read and get to look at all the shiny facets of LKT.

    I would love to know each of you the way the Britt & T know LKT. That ability to bring out the goodies so effortlessly, I believe, takes relationship. I see relationship was a huge “What For” to get up under each other.

    #216441
     Brittany Cotton
    Participant

    Thanks so much LKT! Yes Armchair Ontologist. hehe

    I so appreciate your response, and the reminder of all that you have created over the last few years, I’m like oh hell yeah, thats right! And then I was like oohhhhhh, this is so juicy. See, we don’t hear any of that. Your pattern of continually going unqualified or toeing the line has us in a completely different conversation with you. I wonder how many of the peeps on this team know all those wins you have created, my guess is not in their entirety because that is not the you that gets shared. In fact its not you that we get much of, because your client game breakdown, or pattern of complicating, has you hidden and thats what we end up  playing with.

    I see what Brittany and Kerry have been pointing to from a whole new level. My experience is that we don’t get ALL that you have to offer, because you are continually playing catch up, or playing to make sure you are caught up. Like Charlie- whom we have distinguished shows up incredibly empowered and in his essence in module, and then lands back in his sad story in between, I notice a similar mountain and valley with you and your qualification. You get re-qualified and are empowered, in action around leading this team, and then come a month or two we are slipped back into a qualification breakdown, which has you unable to really be here with us, because you are in action to ensure no fires get lit there. Im thinking of little ground hogs that keep popping up.

    I see that this structure has given you so much, and you have used it to create complete magic. I also see that this structure allows YOUR qual pattern to continue over and over. So now I want to know how do we bust that up? If the AC structure allows us to generate breakthroughs, it also in ways allows us to stay exactly how we are, its a great conversation for the whole team. I know you see this structure and yourself as having a future in this company, and I am stand for that for you as well. But as your partner, I really need it go different. For you, for us, for me, for our team. When you toe the line, my experience is I can’t rely on you to come through or show up, because this other thing over here has to be handled. That doesn’t work for me, our commitments, or the team. And it definitely doesn’t work for your next level of leadership.

    Love, B

     

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