1 year, 8 months ago #203032
Thanks for your reply, Jeff. When I first read it, I admit I had a “whatever” kind of reaction to what you put in about overwhelm being made up, until I read the last part about food, home, etc. One of my friends just sent me the books The Untethered Soul, and The Surrender Experiment after I talked to her about my overwhelm. It was a total surprise and they came in the mail yesterday. I can’t wait to dive in. Sounds like you could have written these books.1 year, 8 months ago #202560Jeff MillerParticipant
Nichole, you are a freaking rock star! And yes for all of the things you do, but also for who you actually are. My experience of you is that you are an amazing Mom, friend and boss. You are the kind of person that has huge capacity and is always willing to help those that you love. So amazing to see and be around!
Sounds like you are working yourself on this go around of overwhelm. What I would point to is while our relationship to overwhelm feels real, overwhelm is actually a made up thing. Kind of like time. Yes we have 24 hours in a day but everything else is made up nonsense. Store hours, meal times, how much people work in a day are all things that people just made up and we have taking up as fact. And while we may need to operate at times with these constructs, out relationship to overwhelm is where the gold is. Every time I get overwhelmed realizing that I am blessed and have a great life simply because I have food, clothing and shelter brings me back to reality. It is a gift that all of us have these things come up. It means we are on the right path.
I want to acknowledge you for creating a schedule that works for me and plugs the power leaks that you have realized exist.1 year, 8 months ago #202530
Thank you, T! Breathing…1 year, 8 months ago #202509Tiffany TurnerParticipant
I’m so not surprised that your Sash community is rallied around you. You are Leader and Champion, Nichole!
thanks for sorting yourself out in the midst of circumstance. I’m present to the level of willingness you bring to breakdowns, and to creating from new places. I think about what all you’ve reflected and shifted in just one month, and it is Awe, because you are Awe.
I hear the request for support on breathing. Please share if there’s anything else.1 year, 8 months ago #202495
Brittany, THANK YOU. That perspective was so helpful. Whew! Okay… I don’t relate to this as a problem and bad/wrong, but as an invitation to the next phase of my life.
I found out yesterday that the insurance company is not going to cover the legal fees for the law suit. It’s outside of the type of coverage I have, which is mostly involving customer liability. So, it’s just a fact that this lawsuit could tank my company. It’s sad and fucked up, but it happens a lot. TGG (the company suing me) are known for being vindictive, punitive, and litigious. I didn’t know any of this before working with them. But people I’m talking to now are like, “Oh yeah, they’re crazy.” Dammit. I didn’t know. I didn’t know because I’m not taking time to connect with my gut, which is always spot on.
I got the call about the insurance while I was giving a talk to about 250 people at the National Association of Women Business Owners during their annual awards event in Carlsbad. The topic was business and politics. There were three speakers there including myself. The other two were Barbara Bry and Betsy Berkhemer-Credaire. Betsy is the woman responsible for Senate Bill 826, requiring publicly traded corporations in California to have at least one female board member.
Barbara Bry is someone I have followed for years and have met several times but have never connected with beyond basic pleasantries. She is a freaking powerhouse. She founded ProFlowers.com, Athena San Diego, and Run Women Run. She is a city council member in San Diego and is the President Pro Tempore of the council. She is now running for mayor of San Diego against Todd Gloria, who is the current favorite. He has the name recognition and has been a career politician in San Diego. Very well liked. Anyway, Barbara and I sat next to each other at lunch, and she told me she felt it was fate that we sat together. She was blown away by my talk and asked if I would join her campaign. She needs help connecting with people online and fundraising through social media. Obviously I can help her with all of those things… A lot!
I said yes. Of course. I really think I can help her win. What I saw from a being perspective is that she is soft listening to everyone she talks to. She is not present or connected. It’s why she met me for the sixth time yesterday and it was the first time we really talked. I see so much for her in being with people and letting down her guard. If she wants to connect with people online especially, she has to be vulnerable. That is nowhere in her vocabulary and I’m so excited to work with her, I can’t even stand it.
I have so much more to say about all of that. So many ideas and realizations. Yesterday was a trippy ass day.
So where I’m at today is feeling very much like everything is perfect. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the lawsuit. Last night I had some “friends” over who helped put some things into perspective. I put friends in quotes because, yes they are friends. But they are Sash customers — that’s how I met them. They call themselves “Sash Sisters”. The community I created online with Sash has forged life-long friendships. Two of our Sash Sisters from Ottawa started to plan a trip out to San Diego earlier this year to visit the Sash store. When they announced their plans, more Sash Sisters from around the country decided to come at the same time and have a meet-up. Two of them wound up staying at my house and the rest were in airbnbs nearby. Last night everyone came over and we just hung out in my living room and talked. I told them about everything going on. The response I got was that no matter what happens, my community is going to be by my side. If we topple over, we will get back up again. If I lose the business, the Sash Sisters will support me in starting a new one called Stash Bags. ? It was very much, “We got you. We’re not going to let you fall.” It felt so amazing feel held like that. I know I have that here as well, and there was something so special about having that support from my customers, too.
I am continuing the flush out what my structures are going to be. Juliana and I worked on that yesterday. I have hired my brother to help me with driving the kids around and meal prepping and keeping my car clean and filled with gas… All those fun little details are figure-outable.
One thing I need support with is breathing. Juliana and I did a breathing exercise at the beginning of our call and it reminded me that I don’t breathe. I am always barely breathing. I would love text reminders from team to breathe.
Okay, I think that’s enough for now. Thanks for reading and chiming in. I appreciate the support.1 year, 8 months ago #202345Brittany CottonParticipant
Thanks so much for bringing this to team, because I don’t think you are the only one. Our brilliant teammate T said to me yesterday, I’m pretty sure the whole team is in overwhelm!
I also want to apologize that I haven’t had a chance to respond to the other thread where you shared with us whats going on in your life. I bring that here because its totally inside of my story of “I have to get to all of these things first.” Which is a pretty shitty way to think, and even a shitty thing to say, because each one of your lives thriving and you all being insanely happy and fulfilled is in my top priorities, and I get so caught up in getting things done and ensuring that everything is PERFECT for this program (by the way playing for that is a fools errand, especially since our work is amazing because of all the perfect imperfections), that what gets left off the list immediately is relationship, connection and intimacy. Of course thanks to my SM this isn’t coincidental, or mere happenstance. 🙂
You know what I think is so darn special and powerful about you is that even when you don’t see whats possible, you are at the ready to create it. I remember during your program year when we had the conversation around possibility and commitment and you brought something to team about not really believing that its all possible. And yet, you always act from this place, looking for how, what, when, where, etc. Like even in your own stops, you aren’t stopped.
I love what you already created with Jocelyn, and looking at your life and time as if its a puzzle, in which the pieces simply need to be moved about for them all to fit. I am happy to support you in whatever you need with accountability.
What I hear in all of this is that you are relating to it as a problem or something that is broken and needs fixing. From that context what you are left with is solutions, and not much else. And if those don’t work, its an endless parade of solutions trying to find the right one. What if you don’t relate to this as a problem and bad/wrong, but as _____? We create massive shifts in our lives when we are able to see out of our current contexts, because outside of them is the realm of possibility; inside we are just reminded whats wrong and how we are limited.
Thats where I would invite you to start!1 year, 8 months ago #202337
Hey team! I am going to talk about this on my call with Juliana this morning, but I want to share that I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed and keep having these middle-of-the-night-panics that I’m doing too much and I need to let something go. AC is always the thing that comes up because it’s really the only thing I don’t have to do. I could stop AC and would have so much more time to focus on my businesses and family and writing and wellness. I don’t want to do that. I am having a really, really hard time figuring out how to do/have it all. It’s literally too much to fit into the hours of the day. Call that a time context if you want, but there are literally only so many hours in the day and the amount of things I have to do takes more time than that. I’m dropping balls in my life left and right. My wellness has gone down the shitter since the kids went back to school. The hours of driving every day on top of everything else is just not manageable. Some things I brainstormed with Jocelyn this morning are:
• Stop driving the kids to and from school. I do have people who can do this for me. It makes me sad. But it just takes so much time.
• Change my coaching schedule to be two hours each morning instead of all day Friday. What I’m experiencing right now is that my Monday-Thursday is so busy that by the time Friday rolls around I have done nothing for my coaching business and I haven’t communicated at all with my clients or anything since the week prior and am just overwhelmed. By Friday I’ve been working my ass off all week and feel frazzled and disorganized.
• If I’m not driving the kids to school, I can replace that time with my wellness hour which I have been neglecting.
Summary of my potential schedule:
6:30 – 7:30 Wellness
8:30-9:30 Working on my coaching practice
9:30 – 10:30 Coaching my clients (this gives me room for three FP and a participant with a potential 4th FP)
Or something like that.
And I can see that this is describe and manage. Right now I feel like I need some describe and manage. But what else do you see for me? I feel like I’m drowning over here. Help!!
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