5 months, 1 week ago #252624Charlie HornParticipant
I remember first creating a pros and cons list a few years ago. This reminds me of that first time I weighed the pros and cons and made a decision with competing commitments and circumstances. What I am present to is the idea of just doing it from empowered choice. I like the pros. and the win wins.5 months, 1 week ago #252606NicholeParticipant
Said another way, I’m loaning my brother some money. He needs a place to live that is not my house. He needs to get his call reviewed so that he can make graduation plans. Big sis is lending little bro some dough. It is not a gift. He needs to pay me back. I told him he can do that in money or in hours, I don’t care which. I was honestly shocked that he took me up on it because I offered this a long time ago and he said no. Proud guy and all.
Edit: forgot to say that we haven’t finished discussing the particulars. I will probably write him a check and let him pay it himself. Or I may pay it directly. I’ll work that out with him this weekend.
5 months, 1 week ago #252600
- This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by Nichole.
Hey Team – on my coaching call with Ryan yesterday, he shared that Nichole is going to pay for the remaining $3,200 of his tuition, and he’s going to work off that $3,200 at Sash.
I asked him what the breakthroughs are for him in this. He shared accepting help continues to be a breakthrough, and that in this gift from Nichole, he can see that Receiving help isn’t someone pitying him, and that all he has to do is say “yes.”
Nichole had reached out to me a few days ago about offering to pay for Ryan. She was out loud about wanting to do what she saw, without asking for permission. I told her however this goes, whether she offers to pay and doesn’t, offers to pay and does pay, or doesn’t offer to pay for Ryan, we’re all gonna see things and share them.
Nichole, do you mind sharing what’s so? I realize I’m not actually clear if you’ve made the tuition payment for Ryan yet.
If I look at what works about all this, I see that:
- Nichole needs support at Sash and created a win/win in getting her need met while also supporting Ryan’s need to work for money
- Nichole practicing Leading from her Intuition and Self Trust, and not asking for permission
- I see that Nichole is housing Ryan and wants her home space back. I’ve heard her share her commitment to creating separate space for herself and Ryan in Partnership with him. That doing this would be a breakthrough for her and outside the Either/Or of: I’ll overextend myself to take care of you, OR I’ll cut you off. Nichole paying off Ryan’s tuition affords him to move out to his own place next week (per Ryan).
- I see and trust the breakthroughs Ryan shared he’s got for himself in this
From looking at what doesn’t work, I see:
- Nichole inside her rescuing pattern
- Ryan not being At Cause from a place of “Do Whatever It Takes” (to be clear, I don’t think doing whatever it takes means injuring oneself or ignoring injury. Ryan’s just not practiced at following through and being his word in Possibility. My experience is that it takes a lot of conversation and support to get him connected to possibility, and he’s often not likely to follow through in creating it, or Being whoever he needs to be and Doing whatever he needs to do, to make his visions and possibilities a reality).
At the end of the day, my experience as Ryan’s coach gets to be easier with the money convo off the table. And I know we’re here for everyone’s breakthroughs. I was attached to there being a right/wrong way for this to go, but I’ve let that go. However this goes I hold as perfect, and this update is to bring the process and what’s in-the-works to our whole team.
Please share if you see something or need something.
<3 T.5 months, 3 weeks ago #251359
Hey All –
Ryan had some circumstance impact our scheduled call for yesterday, we ended up getting 35 minutes in, and he was very open and on a high this week. His being did not match the energy he brought to his forum post from yesterday.
While I don’t think he’s any closer to being able to see his SM hijack him, or his At Effect-ness, he is able to see that his disappointment and low lows are in part because of not planning ahead and being overly committed to a single option (like paying for life with unemployment $$, or Alaska…he often hasn’t left room for circumstance to change the plan).
What he’s created in the last week is:
- Found housing – move date TBD, but he’s going to be paying rent for the first time in his life, which I believe will be a demand of Man Ryan in a new way
- Paid for and scheduled his first therapy session, which is scheduled for Monday
- Paid the $2000 he declared (payment happened today)
- And got a job as a surf instructor
While I don’t relate to these actions as the end all, they’re certainly moving in a great direction in terms of his breakthroughs and commitments.
Jeff is continuing to support me around Ryan, and should Ryan get taken out to the point where he can’t hear me (around payments or Being), I intend to offer the support of our entire leadership team to him, and put it in his hands to choose who he can hear from. If for any reason you can’t align on being The One for him (should it arise), please let me know so that I can tailor our leader teams support to him accordingly.
<3 T.6 months, 1 week ago #246147Juliana SihParticipant
Bree is declared to be paid by module and Sarah is declare to be paid today. Sarah is speaking with the back office about her client payment going towards tuition and then she will pay off the rest of the balance.6 months, 1 week ago #246134
Hi Team – Ryan didn’t show up to our coaching call yesterday, and he hasn’t responded to my text messages.
My plan is to call him on Monday and see if I can catch him live. I’ll share another update Monday/Tuesday. I’ll also call Gudrun and ask her if she’s received any payments from Ryan since the 6/25 payment.6 months, 2 weeks ago #245638Juliana SihParticipant
Sarah is paid up for June and I have not gotten her declaration for July yet.
I have no update on Bree but will hop on a call with her today to get her declaration and bring it here.6 months, 2 weeks ago #245565
Hi Team, no new updates on Ryan’s payments since the $1200 on 6/25. I just realized that I’m unclear when he stops collecting unemployment, and therefore when he’d stop making $600 Friday payments and switch to larger lump sums on pay days. I’ll get clear on the payment plan moving forward, on Thursdays call with him and share an update here by Friday!6 months, 2 weeks ago #245537NicholeParticipant
Jonathan and Lauren are paid up for the year. Woohoo!6 months, 3 weeks ago #244809
Hey Team – Ryan sent a screenshot showing he made his declared $1200 payment yesterday, wooo!
We were scheduled for our regular call at 3pm today and he needed to reschedule due to work conflicts. As of right now, what’s so is that he starts fishing this weekend, and he’ll be making much more money. There isn’t a clear payment plan for the remaining $5,050 due before we sit on July 18, and it’s not yet clear if Ryan will be joining us for module 6 as he’s not confirmed that he’s taken that convo to his bosses and got a flat alignment from them.
I told Ryan I’m happy to arrange a weekend call with him, so he’ll keep me posted and I’ll share here after our next call about what he sees for the $$.
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