Quinn's Enrollment

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  • #198711
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    Hey team, thanks for the feedback. It’s interesting to notice that a lot of you have similar things you see. I appreciate you sharing that perspective and broadening my awareness.

    I’m scared I won’t be able to qualify with surgery coming up and recovery. I’m full of fear. I’m scared of committing fully because it will be embarrassing when I don’t qualify. I feel so much resistance at a subconscious level. I’ve been relating to getting hired as painful. I’d really like to have more fun and joy and connection in my life. I did a sample session with someone today and we talked about bringing play everywhere she goes as a way to integrate dif aspects of her life. Her being completely shifted at the end of the call. She was giggle, light and excited. It was a great feeling. She has no intention of hiring me. I’m proud of myself for trying something different and asking her if she’s willing to be coached around objections to hiring me at the top of the call. She said no, she’s not willing. Womp. At least I was clear on what I was getting into.

    This is further than I’ve gone in the past. I took some notes for myself to take into my next session I have scheduled on Sunday with someone Sabrina referred to me. Thanks Sabs! I notice I backed way up when she said she wasn’t open to coaching objections. For that reason, I never got clear on what the objection was. The next session I have scheduled, homeboy already said he doesn’t have money to hire me and I was like we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But I’m def fishing in a shallow pool. Where I’m struggling is how to keep in integrity with my spirituality AND sustain myself financially. I want to join some buddhist community where they feed me and let me stay there in exchange for spiritual practice. I know this desire is fear based. I feel resigned to the game of making money, even after talking about handling money objections with Melanie the other day. I’m so stuck.

    I need help deciding structures to help smooth out the roller coaster. I’ve been getting bummed when my power hours are just me staring at my own face on Zoom. I’m happy when people come, but more often than not it’s just me by myself. I ran late to host my own workshop. I was printing stuff off at the library and finishing up my notes and such and then rushed over. Even the day of I was productively procrastinating by focusing on client game. Somehow I pulled it off. I need that push though. AND the push and dramatic stretch across the finish line is fueling the roller coaster. What I’d really like is for someone to hold my hand through the discomfort. I’d really like someone to come on the zoom calls and hold me to doing what I say from a place of compassion. I’m not reliable on my own. My zoom calls are 11am-12pm weekdays. I’m open to doing them other times if that means I’m not alone on the calls. Who can support me on zoom?

     

    #198529
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    Hi Quinn!

    I really appreciate your resilience, power, heart and leaning in again and again. THANK YOU!!! These are all the many wonderful things you bring to our team (and to the world) and there’s so much more, too!

    I know we have had a lot of 1:1 conversations this week and this year. And I also know that you continue to question my friendship, our friendship and if you can trust me or not. I also know that trust is generated from you and that it is a choice.

    I also want to recognize that I may have, inadvertently, in my effort to provide you support, been enabling the separate & alone in the process of generating those 1:1 conversations. So, I want to put that on loud speaker for the team, too.

    I love you. I have already put in quite a bit verbally with you this week.

    For me to be enrolled I will need to know that you are genuinely trying something different with this enrollment. Right now I have it that you changed your plane ticket and your weekend plans to go hang out with your friend in Hollywood. I am seeing this as you doing more of the “either work OR play” game that keeps you in scarcity in terms of money, time, love, connection, etc. And I am not enrolled in that. I am standing for your greatness and for you to break up that problem/strategy thing that’s got you pushing away what you crave most (connection).

    I will need to know that YOU are fully enrolled in YOUR own life- in having it truly work (I echo what Britt shared) and in playing BIG everywhere. Which means surrendering  your “rightness” and probably also your “righteousness.” From my SM, I am a self-righteous loser and pfffrrrttt. The world definitely doesn’t need more of those.

    I will need to know that you are truly enrolled in playing full out on our program coach team. I need to know that you are fully enrolled and not holding anything on AC, or us, or yourself. I will need to know that you are fully enrolled in empowering this structure to work for you and not be another thing in your life dinging you. (echoing what Jeff shared)

    I have a longer draft that I need to check out and finish before I send but this is the broad strokes of it, for now.

    Love you;

    Sabs

    #198510
     Jeff Miller
    Participant

    Thank you Quinn for going further than you would normally go. I acknowledge you for practicing enrollment and really standing for what you want to create. This is awesome to see! I am similar to Brittany with what is missing in me being fully enrolled. The one thing I would definitely echo, is that all of us need to have our life work and using AC as A structure and not THEY structure. It does not work to have AC be one more thing that adds stress or takes away from our lives. AC as a structure works when we can leverage all of the gold we get and insert it into our lives. That is what I am standing for with all of us.

    Are you willing to empower AC as a structure to support all of the amazing things you are up too? Are you willing like Brittany said, NSNK create a new relationship with money that actually makes your life work? This would have me be enrolled.

    Who else has something for Quinn and team?

     

    #198460
     Brittany Cotton
    Participant

    Quinn-

    Your resilience and determination is astounding. Again and again you work through stuff, come out empowered, and continue to ask for more. Thanks for being so in here with us, and trusting us with you.

    I really acknowledge you in using enrollment to get support and what you need. That is absolutely a breakthrough. I hear and see your stand for your well being, and how perfect for the module we are in. I am enrolled in you getting what you need, through and through. And I notice I’m torn. Im super enrolled in you standing for your well being, and I’m not enrolled in you missing the first module. However, I can align.

    What I need to be enrolled in you being on this team, fully- is your commitment to practice relating to yourself as someone on this team, who has just as many circumstances and stops as the rest of us. I notice you tend to relate to your circumstances as bigger, worse, different than everyone else’s and while I do agree that you go through and have trials and experiences we could never imagine, and have no knowledge of, your relationship with you being different and “other” keeps you different and Othered. I shared this with you yesterday on our call, and I’m a stand that you break it up. The terminal uniqueness has you playing outside, and separate, and again I don’t disagree that you live in a world that doesn’t support you the way it does cis gender white men/woman, but the constant self talk that you have it worse, are different, etc creates this experience for you, and seems to keep you playing small and constantly in “battle.” I see such a breakthrough possible for you in relating to yourself as in community, accepted, love, and a part of all of it.

    I agree with T on the roller coaster and I would like to hear what structures you will put in place to support you, and so that we can support you too.

    I am enrolled in you playing full out for the next month for clients, just as I am for the rest of our team. If someone isn’t qualified by the weekend, they still have a month to play, just like we still have a month to play registration. To be clear our stand is that people get hired by Monday so they can get participants, AND we will continue to play full out for a month both for more butts in seats and our team getting qualified to potentially get to coach those new peeps.

    I too am happy that you are so passionate about coming to support AC in more diversity and inclusion. And there are many conversations to be had. I brought the pronouns up at our leader call yesterday, and we all discussed what we see around putting the pronouns on the Table Tents, introducing ourselves that way, etc. I am happy to share that conversation with you, and be in partnership around it. Similar to what T put in there is some defending/explaining in your being, while I know you are passionate about, and rightly so,  it actually has you not be enrolling. It sometimes comes off as “you’ve done wrong, what the fuck” and in terms of creating inclusion and space for everyone, that feels like the opposite. Especially when someone has just met you and suddenly seem to be paying for someone else’s wrong doing.

    The last piece I need to be enrolled is what you are creating to generate a breakthrough in money. NSNK.  While our number one focus is the participants transforming, its also about us having our lives not just work but thrive. Currently your life doesn’t work and has you exhausted, overwhelmed, etc. Im not enrolled in you living like this. You are too powerful and magnificent, and capable of ANYTHING.

    I feel like I could go on forever… but ill sign off here.

    Who else has something for Quinn?

     

    #198406
     Tiffany Turner
    Participant

    Thanks for bringing a flat response. Can you add what structures and actions you’ll be in to flatten the roller coaster, and to create emotional and physical stability?

    Regarding Lake, I LOVE the idea of you two being together, powerfully creating something, I know you’d have an amazing time and be sourced from being with her.

    What I’m not enrolled in, is how that’s more of the same, it’s inside your comfort zone, and inside something/someone that’s already safe (when we’re all committed to you creating safe space/relationship EVERYWHERE). For those reasons, I’m not enrolled in your vision of spending this weekend with Lake.

    You being in nature, sourcing, getting your well being needs met before surgery, totally enrolled in that.

    I want to be clear that you don’t need me to be enrolled. I’m standing for something different, especially because the impact of you not being at Module 1 is huge; it will have impact on our leader team, the participant team, and on you and your growth. So for all that impact to happen in your absence, I’d need to see something of equal impact created outside of AC – this is likely to be uncomfortable, because it would be new, and unknown for you. The Lake vision is beautiful and I fully support it, just not enrolled in that being the thing that keeps you from Mod 1.

    #198328
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    T, what would it take for me to enroll you in spending the weekend with Lake? It honestly hits me in my heart a little funky.

    #198327
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    Thanks for reflecting lonely bee and my being. I will admit that my being is wonky right now.

     

    The diet thing was one of the original reasons I was going to withdraw. I know it’s possible because I’ve done it before thanks to Nichole hosting me and letting me use her tupper ware so I can bring my own food. It just requires more prep and adds to my exhaustion level during those modules. I will continue eating healthy while I’m there. To balance my energy levels I’m going to arrive one day prior to module so I can settle in. That will be my consistent action around diet while I’m in San Diego.

     

    How you can rely on me for the rest of the year is to see out the vision of diversity and inclusion in AC. One of the reasons I signed up for the name tents is so I can add pronouns to them. I will continue to talk through the disempowering experiences when they occur like I have with you and Jeff already. That was a breakthrough for me. Without those conversations I wouldn’t be re-enrolled in Program Coach. That was the foundation for me to move forward.

    What I get on the other side of it is more emotional stability and physical energy stability. I’m committed to flattening out the roller coaster that runs my life currently and I will do that by trusting everyone’s intentions and that they got me back. With trust I can have intimate conversations (which for me means real conversations – not just the positive ones) and I can ask for me needs to get met to feel safe and part of the AC community. I’m also committed to taking on the action necessary to make AC more inclusive. I’d like to enroll everyone in introducing themselves to new people with pronouns. It’s not just an AC practice, it’s important in everyday life everywhere.

     

    As far as spending the weekend with Lake, I hear you that you see she’s in a similar stuck place as me. I imagine there’s a fear that it will not be helpful to me or that spending time with her will pull me away from AC. Tell me if that’s off, I don’t have to be right. Lake is like family to me. She has invited me into a nourishing space that allows for me to slow down and be with family. That’s exactly what I need right now. We’re also starting a podcast together and we’re going to plan that out a bit more in person. This is my passion project and something in your enrollment to declare back into AC that I could create both visions in my life. I’ve been feeling lonely and depressed and I would really like to spend time with my soul sibling before I enter surgery.

    #198305
     Tiffany Turner
    Participant

    Hey Quinn –

    Thanks for your enrollment, and for sharing what you need. I’m enrolled in your needs being FULLY met, and you going into surgery next week sourced and full. I see a breakthrough for our entire team in flat communication, so I’m speaking from that place and I invite everyone else on team to do the same.

    • I love Lake to her core, and she’s in a similar place as you, stuck in feelings, false starts, and she is not CPR. For that reason, I’m not enrolled in you missing module to spend the weekend with Lake. That would be more of the same, avoiding discomfort and surrounding yourself with others who are stuck in a similar place as you.
    • Diet: I’m not enrolled that diet is difficult based on circumstance. LKT pumped milk multiple times a day, at modules, for a year. She had one complaint, one time, because an entire weekends milk went bad when hotel staff unplugged the freezer. The diet stuff lands as a complaint, and more inaction around creating life by design. I see a breakthrough for you in planning ahead around your needs. I see diet for a weekend in LA as the same as diet for a weekend in SD. What breakthrough in Consistent Action could you create here?
    • What I’m unenrolled in from your Being, is that contextually, you seem to be in the same place of “They don’t get it/They don’t get me,” and explaining or defending from there. That’s just more of Lonely Bee running the show in creating Separate and Alone, and I’m not enrolled in you creating a Well Being breakthrough from a place of us not getting you. We see you, we get you, we respect, love, and are a demand for your greatness. So there’s no room for these shenanigans.
    • What would be enrolling for me, is to hear what we can rely on you for for the rest of the year, regardless of circumstance. What I would be most enrolled in, is No Drama, No Roller Coaster. What structures would make that life possible for you? What do you get on the other side of it? How does this team get to support those things for you? How does creating this give you another layer or level of breakthrough in Consistent Action?

    I love you. I’m on your team. I want you to live the life of your dreams. It is all possible.

    <3 T.

    #198237
     Aarti Mallya
    Participant

    Hey everyone, I had this ready to go before 5pm today, but the video was too large to post so I had to post it on YouTube. It’s a private video, only accessible with the link. Please take the time to listen. I’d love to hear your feedback. Thanks team

     

    https://youtu.be/7LD_36DAdss

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