Red Flag – Bree

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     Tiffany Turner

    Team I didn’t find the right time/space to share this on co-coaching, so I’m bringing it here.

    I want to be out loud with you all that I woke up in Arroyo Grande Thursday of last week to updates on Bree’s mental health. Arroyo Grande is 10 minutes from where Bree lives in Grover Beach.

    I called Juliana and shared that I’d like to take the happenstance of being near her to drop off a pick-me-up. So I picked out one of my house plants, stopped for a Chai Latte and a slice of banana bread, and I dropped these things to Bree’s home with a note reflecting her greatness. While I relate to this as a way that I would be with all of you, and a beautiful display of support across leader/participant team, I also suspect that not everyone on team will hold this action in this way, so I don’t want to step over it and if anyone needs anything from me around what I chose to do.

    Please share if you have anything for me!

     Juliana Sih

    Hi team!

    Sorry for leaving you hanging here. I realized that I updated my check in sheet put didn’t post my update here. So Bree is doing ok. We had our call Thursday where I got some clarity around her relationship with feeling depressed or being depressed. She is not clear what the boundaries are there and she is going to take a look. I checked in with her Friday and Monday she said she was doing ok.  She had ups and downs about all the stuff that is happening and I shared with her where I was at also. I am going to continue checking in with her. She currently has a therapist and knows to talk about depression there. She knows I am happy to be a listening ear and be supportive.

    She requested to not be on T-Time today. She is with family that are visiting from Oregon. She mentioned wishing T time was cancelled today and that a few teammates won’t be on.

    I am not sure what else to bring! I will ask for more support on co-coaching.

     Sabrina Pratt

    Hi team!

    I have been praying and thinking about this post quite a bit and I found myself waiting for an update before posting my own response.

    Julianna- where did things go after your post? Where are you at now? Where is Bree?

    What support do you need?

    All my love and thank you for continuing to be a stand for Bree!!!


     Jeff Miller

    Something else to add for all of us in this team…

    For some  important training, I would like to point out certain red flags that can and cannot be coached on and who to be about these. Think of these as best business practices and reminders of what we already know, but can support us in the moment. And to be super clear everything here needs to be brought to the team ASAP and brought up on co-coaching. This way everybody is aware and we can all get the support we need.

    Red Flags
    > wanting to quit the program (Coach this)
    > can’t pay tuition (Coach this)
    > depression (Check-in here, refer to therapist)
    > anxiety (Check-in here, refer to therapist)
    > suicidal thoughts (check-in, refer to therapist, let Kerry/Brittany know ASAP)
    > any therapeutic issue (check-in refer to therapist)

     Jeff Miller

    Thanks for brining it here Juliana. First, I would partner with Bree and creating a plan. Seems like she has some fear of getting into those dark thoughts. Does she have a plan? Who does she call? What support does she have around her? Does her husband know all of this? So if it does occur again there is some sort of protocol to have her be held in a space where she can be supported. I would then be curious about her relationship with her therapist. Sounds like she has a lot, so just making sure she is currently with someone who is supporting her and that she trusts. If not, time to get someone else. And lastly, be coach with her on coaching matters and be clear about when you will not be coaching her. We don’t coach on therapy issues. And since she has been diagnosed with depression, I would get clear and ask her to articulate when she is feeling depressed versus in depression. The long and short of it is to be flat, create structures/boundaries and support her through this. You got this Juliana and please continue to get supported by team around this.

     Charlie Horn


    thanks for being there for Bree. How are you? Where are you with being with Bree?
    what I see for you is to be with Bree as she is 100% right where she needs to be and you are 100% with her.

    Hold the space in you to be with all of what she is in and bringing. Be the clearing for her to see she is up against it and it’s totally fine and normal and it makes complete sense that her SM is grabbing the wheel and taking her for a ride. Be open and curious about what Bree needs in the moment. Honor her experience in the moment. Trust yourself to be with whatever Bree brings. She may want coaching or a safe space to be in or who knows what. Be a stand for her to choose what she needs. To practice getting to what she needs if she doesn’t know.

    set the foundation and the container of what will be by getting agreement for how to spend your time. Coaching is the intention and remind her of that.

    Is there a both/and to be had from your time? Both coaching and holding space.

    Will you hold yourself as perfect whole and complete. trusting you have what it takes to be with Bree no matter what emotional space she is in. Because you do!!!

    Bree’s past does not define how it will go. She has been refocusing her lens and it’s hard to go back to where we came from after having seen so many new ways of being and doing. She may just need to be reminded of how far she has come. To see how far from those old ways she is. Even if her S M disagrees. Show her the ground taken.

    you have got this Juliana!!! You have what it takes. You are compassion, brilliance, source, light, patience, love and forgiveness.

    bring the unconditional acceptance of who and what Bree brings. She will feel that and be grounded in your being.

     Juliana Sih

    Hey Y’all,

    This morning I got a text from Bree sharing that she was depressed. Her exact words were ” I am doing everything I can not to get into a deep depression where I’m suicidal and that is taking up all my energy”. Shortly after that text I had my coaching call with Kerry and got support from her.

    I had a quick connect call with Bree to get whats so about her depression and if she was in danger of hurting herself. Here is what I discovered: Bree was diagnosed with depression back in her teenage years. She has had about 8 different therapist and worked through bi-polar, depression and PTSD. As a teenager, she had an incident where she took too many pills. She says it was a cry for help. She didn’t have to go to the hospital but her mom made her through up to get it out. For the past 1-2 year, she has not taken any pills because she doesn’t like how they make her feel. She has a therapist and has shared with her where she is at right now.

    From what I got, she is not currently diagnosed with depression. She shared that she is not in danger of hurting herself but is afraid of having those dark thoughts of “what am I doing here, whats the point, etc.”. She fully acknowledges that this is a pattern. Having the support call had her really feel heard which is what she most needed. She also supported her friend with doula questions which made her feel needed/wanted.

    She wants to have our coaching call tomorrow and talk about LDP. I am going to just support her and not do much coaching.

    What do you see for me to bring or share? Who do you see for me to be for Bree?

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