Red Flag: Lesa

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  • #233253
     Tiffany Turner
    Participant

    Sabs I’ve noticed a pattern of you declaring by when you’ll post something to forum, and miss your self set deadline. Wondering if you might give yourself more time so as to fulfill on smaller declarations? And who knows, maybe that would shift something else?
    When people declare their By When’s I get attached to them and look for the deliverable. I’ll look on my side for where I can create a breakthrough in this for me too. I can see that when declarations aren’t met, it’s an easy place for my Faster Is Better / Snob Of Steel SM to show up. Let me have a look for me and I’ll come back to share what I see.

    #233207
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    Thank you. I am here and following. I needed to take to my coach and get complete again and again and talk to Nichole, which I just did. I have clients today and then class. Looking forward to posting my response this evening after my class.

    all my love.

    #233191
     Tiffany Turner
    Participant

    Nichole, thanks for sharing what you’ve been holding. I’m so glad you let it out!

    I feel like I had a similar experience with Doon. And I didn’t take on my relationship with Doon and how he was/wasn’t in this program the same way you have and are with Lesa, or the way Kerry has and does with Steve. This just to say that there’s no right way!

    Thanks for choosing something different now, and please let us know how we can support you in your stand for Lesa. I’m not aligned in you loosing sleep over this 🙂

    Sabs, will you rejoin us on this thread?

    #233085
     Charlie Horn
    Participant

    Thanks for taking one more step Nichole in sharing your experience of and with Lesa.
    here are some questions I’m pondering because of your stand for this teams stand. I will answer them and my invitation is for all of you to as well. Kerry? You too 😉
    who do we choose to be about Lesa being at such a steep gradient that she is out?
    I choose to be lifetime committed to Lesa getting what she wants. For me. Well and for Lesa too. But more for me. I get to practice what I want in the rest of my life by being here now as a stand for Lesa. Woohoo!!
    what is in it for us all to look at gradient and how we approach our relationships, this team, all AC participants and all the shit we are up to in our own lives? And our clients? (Like how I threw that in last) yup I see it.
    lesa is this perfectly pure human who has some stuff like the rest of us and the dynamics with money and team and Lesa’s internal self sabotaging, self criticizing monster has her up against a straight uphill climb to move forward. That’s too much for her today. What has her moving forward today? Maybe it’s a nap 🙂 it was for me yesterday 😉

    at what point do we stop standing? I don’t know  it’s variable and perfect no matter what. I see it depends also on the level of gradient we each are up against. Which is also perfect. I’m so glad Kerry said something about Lesa needs to be out. Thanks for being real genuine authentic Kerry. What do you need to be a stand for Lesa to be in? And I know you are so it’s kinda a trick question. I’m so happy Sabrina is the one for Lesa as coach. Thanks for being a bad as imperfect leader Sabrina.

    the real question is always what from here? Some of us may be like see ya later Lesa. Cool. Is it from a stand from essence or SM? And even more tricky are we being a stand for Lesa to be in from Sm or from essence?

     

    #232991
     Nichole
    Participant

    I could barely sleep last night thinking about Lesa. I want to provide some context for what I’m thinking/feeling.

    Lesa first learned about the program through Liz Stone. This was way before I ever joined (or even considered joining) the program. I hired Liz to coach Lesa. That’s when her interest in coaching started. This was about four or five years ago. She had peripherally been interested in the program, but never felt it was attainable.

    When I joined the program, she expressed to some of our fellow co-workers that she was envious. She wanted to do the program. I had conversations with her about it and felt a little bad that I was “getting” to do the program for free since the business was paying for me. When she came to observation, some of you may remember that she said in the room that she wanted to join the program. After observation, she was very determined and told both me and Jocelyn that she wanted to find a way to do it. That is how I came up with the idea of having the company create a plan for the girls who wanted to do the program to support them financially, since the company did the same for me.

    I put the offer out there and Lesa did not take me up on it because she didn’t see how she would be able to come up with the other half of the money. Jocelyn took me up on it. After seeing Jocelyn making it work, Lesa was once again feeling like she was missing out and when the next program opened up, she wanted to do it. Now, like many reg conversations, she was oscillating between possibility and impossibility. I stood for her to see possibility. I don’t think she still understands the difference between a stand and a demand. This is evidenced by how often she quit engaging with her team when they are standing for her and each other.

    The agreement is that Sash would pay half of her monthly tuition. She approached me early on and asked if instead of doing half each month if Sash could pay the first half, so that she would have time to build her coaching practice. I agreed to this plan. You know the rest.

    What I see now is that we have someone who got halfway into digging up all her stuff and now it’s out there, exposed and raw. And now she has jumped out of the plane. I wasn’t sure what was going to come of the in/out conversation, but what I’m hearing is that she is not choosing something that is going to move her life forward powerfully, but she is choosing to run and hide from her transformation and the people who were standing for it from a place of blame and self-righteousness (ironically), and the next thing in her cycle will be vindication.

    I think we have all failed Lesa as a team. I should have brought this conversation a long time ago and I didn’t. Sabs, you aren’t the only one who is relieved to have the conversation over. You might have missed on the happy hour when Kerry commented, “She’s gotta go.” And I totally get it. Lesa has been incredibly difficult to stand for, and I also think we didn’t try standing that hard. And I’m actually talking about everyone except Sabrina. Other than that one phone call she had with Kerry, how has anyone else made a difference for Lesa in this program? What is the collective message been that we are sending as a leadership team if we accept Lesa’s RTW? What is the legacy we want to have as a team around how we handle someone who is so in her stuff as Lesa is?

    We’ve taken stands on our team for each other to have our voices be loud and to keep going in over and over in service of all of our breakthroughs. We can do this for Lesa as well. Here’s some of the things she has shared with me that she wants for her life:

    • Money breakthroughs
    • Indpendence
    • A different career working for herself
    • She wants to be with Leon and she’s never stood up for herself in that relationship
    • She wants to be ungettable!

    And I know there’s more she shared at the beginning of the program.

    Sabs, I want to acknowledge the challenge you were up against with Lesa and how beautifully you created relationship with her. Your comment about seeing her at graduation despite her being out — I totally get why you would say that. Her heart is really big. I think it’s so big that she doesn’t have the capacity for it sometimes. I see a lot of her in you, Sabs. You also have a heart that is so, so big that it is also vulnerable. I am sorry that this conversation hurt your heart. I want to say it again that I acknowledge who you are and have been for Lesa. Lesa declaring out is not a Sabrina conversation, it’s a team one. And I would like to hear from team what they see for Lesa.

    Thanks all.

    #232890
     Charlie Horn
    Participant

    Sabrina,

    You are working and walking along side of the magical powerful creator of the universe. You are doing gods work. The work of unconditional love. That is a big deal and it takes something and you are giving it in new and exciting and scary ways. You are an example of Devine courage. I hear your requests. They make complete sense to me. I also hear the reflections and they make complete sense to me as well. Thanks for putting yourself out there in the open. Exposed. And thanks for seeing all the opportunity to stand for what you need. Please continue to be a stand for you.
    Is this an opportunity for our team to revisit our commitment to higher gradient? Is there an opportunity to go to church here and practice agreement and permission?
    For me I have forgotten the conversation we had at the beginning of the program around what this next level of leadership is all about and what it looks like in the doing department.
    it can be rough. I’m scared shitless sometimes and hide like a frightened turtle. And on the other side of that has been growth and peace and love and a fresh polish on my lens that doesn’t get as foggy as quickly. And then I forget and here comes the rinse and repeat cycle.
    Sabrina, I am in awe of how you have taken on so much in a relatively short period of time. You are winning and getting and being with so much.
    I’m sorry and I’m not sorry. Your a bad ass and I know you have the capacity to source yourself and find the balance and the rhythm to maintain this current level of leadership you are in. You have what it takes. You are doing it!!!! You are right where you need to be. And migraines fucking suck. I think I have had one and I would have done anything to make it stop.

    take care of yourself and I am here for. Let me know what I can do for you.

    #232873

    I’m returning to this conversation I also see Sabs you (and not just you) are bringing feelings about the content the way Britt K did (and you saw yourself in BK).

    If you are here for a BT Being in Community then here’s a chance to practice.

    I say this all the time. If we ask the universe for patience, it will give us a line at the bank. Consider this is your line at the bank 🙂

    #232845
     Jeff Miller
    Participant

    Hey Sabs,

    Thanks for bringing heart, love and stand to our team and your peeps everywhere. Thanks for playing out loud no matter what! I really acknowledge you for being vulnerable, transparent and a leader!

    Keep bringing yourself and your humanity. And coming back to CPR time and time again. You have been working on this and I want to acknowledge you for the progress you have made in this area from not that long ago as a participant.

    What I notice, is that you tell us to not negotiate with your SM and to give you reflections (and love and stand). But when the team does that, we are often met with resistance and you cannot hear us. This has me personally wait to respond until this cycle is over and then I respond. In service of my leadership I will be putting this down. I will respond when I see something as a leader and as a teammate who loves and cares for you. THIS IS THE WORK! Whatever we resistance, we need to lean into. For myself this is vulnerability and intimacy. For you Sabs, it might be being vulnerable and being with the feedback. Everyone on this team loves and cares for you. That is not a question. And we all signed up to push each other and to stand for each other’s leadership. THIS IS THE WORK.

    #232844
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    Lesa has also said repeatedly that she felt pressured into this program and never got to make her own choice (this is part of her in/out pattern and I know it’s not reality). So- she has it that choosing out is her choosing for herself.

    #232843
     Sabrina Pratt
    Participant

    I’m not relieved that Lesa is out. In the least. I’m sad. I feel really sad. I’m disappointed too. I pitted Lesa against her SM and brought the conversation from such a consistently powerful coach space and she still chose out. It bums me out big time.

    im relieved that she made a decision and spoke it out loud. Because the truth is: she hasn’t been fully in this whole time. So- it’s a relief that she is making a choice.

    to be clear: I am not relieved by the choice she made.

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