10 months, 1 week ago #242839Juliana SihParticipant
Love this Nichole, thanks for sharing!! Support support support!! 🙂 <310 months, 1 week ago #242796Tiffany TurnerParticipant
Just wanted to share that I’m following along on this thread and to please say if you need anything! Otherwise, loving the updates on your in process breakthrough! Thanks for bringing us along the journey 🙂10 months, 1 week ago #242784
Little status report: Things this week are going really well working with Kara. My house is totally organized and I feel really supported. I’m already noticing a shift in how I’m allowing for the support. Today I had a BFO when I realized how my “dread”, even for the things I love to do, on my schedule was coming from how unsupported I was. I was in a constant state of commitment breakdown with too many things on my plate. I never had what I needed. Just two and a half days working with an assistant who thrives in “getting shit done” and loves to play with Keva is literally life changing.10 months, 1 week ago #242400
My new assistant is here today. Yay! I was just talking to Jocelyn while I was walking Bippy to let her know how it’s going, and I realized that a lot of my trepidation around getting supported comes from having my mom here for so long and the experience that her supporting me was really more like me supporting her. She was very needy in terms of how she was willing to support (lots of strings attached). I notice I’m nervous to ask for basic things, like I’m hungry and want a sandwich and feel like I should make it myself because it’s asking too much. And yet, I have someone in the next room who is here literally just to support me and it would probably make her feel bad if I made my own sandwich. I am whacky.
T reflected to me yesterday that I am codependent and I was like, “No, no, not even close.” Until she told me what codependent actually means (the definition in my head was way off) and I realized she was totally right. This reflection comes at a perfect time for me to stop enabling others to be weak in their support for me, so as to let myself off the hook. There’s more to it than that, but it’s just good timing. This is going to be breakthrough city over here as I transition into allowing support.
The other thing I’m noticing… We created my ideal calendar (the one I brought earlier in this thread) and I feel so blah about it! It’s literally what I said I wanted, but it just looks so dang boring to do the same things at the same time every day. I’ve always sort of “joked” that I thrive in chaos, but I think I took that belief on. And clearly I don’t. I survive and I manage to create stuff. But having my schedule consistent is going to (I think) give me so much room to thrive in ways I probably can’t imagine. The light blue is the “ideal” schedule that we are working toward, so the dark blue stuff needs to get moved around where there’s overlap. I’m going to try and have it all flat by the end of the next week, and work with my clients to move them into that 9:00 window.10 months, 2 weeks ago #241544
I attached a screenshot from a newsletter that I sent out to over 80,000 people today announcing a NEW time for our live sales: 4:00 p.m.!! I know 5:30 is a time that works better for a lot of people, but I am not working past 5:00 anymore. It feels so good! Woohoo for being at cause to create my schedule the way I want it.10 months, 3 weeks ago #240173
Thank you for the thoughtful feedback, Charlie and Jeff. What I’m getting from this conversation is the opportunity to be as “flat” about time as I am about money.
I always got annoyed by the idea that I had a “time context” because… I get how in some ways time is “made up”, but it’s also not. The construct of it is. The idea that one second is a thing and that sixty seconds makes up a minute and sixty minutes makes up an hour, and so on, is a made-up thing. But the fact that the sun will set and rise is not made up. And we are living in a world where we have a universal agreement that the sun setting and rising constitutes a new day. It’s not possible to make the sun stay up and not go down any more than it’s possible to fill a “day” with more than 24 hours (our universally agreed-upon unit of measurement) of doing. So there do have to be lines drawn in order to create an experience with time that is working in your favor. These are what I see as the boundaries.
What I see from here is to identify the gap between where I’m at now and where I want to be. I spent some time yesterday identifying that gap and the “doing” that gets in the way of having what I want. Then I spent some time today creating a job description around that gap and am going to hire someone to fill it. Bing, bang, boom. Done. I think having this exercise and discussion has me hiring someone from a different place and for a different reason than just, “I need help.” It feels really flat and full of possibility.
Yay!!! I will post the job description shortly so y’all can think of anyone you know who might be a good fit.10 months, 4 weeks ago #240051Jeff MillerParticipant
Love this topic Nichole! I think that everyone feels or has felt this before. I definitely can sympathize with idea of time and people demanding a lot of it from me. What I notice about time is that I always have to check myself of how it is going. What I mean about this is I actually check-in with my calendar and look at how I spent my week. I then evaluate how I spent my week according to my priorities. Did you spend time with my family, my friends, source myself, or did I spend most of my time on “work.” And I have boundaries for my boundaries! Simply put I am not reliable to say no to people who want my time. AND I have to constantly remind myself that the structures I have created are there to keep my eyes on the long-term and my highest commitments.
What would your relationship with time look like if time was not a problem? And similar to what you put in your last post, what would your relationship with time look like coming from abundance? What would your life look like if you put your self first?
Thanks for bringing this conversation and thanks for being an amazing Mom, leader and human on the planet!10 months, 4 weeks ago #240010Charlie HornParticipant
Thanks Nichole for the permission.
what I hear in your response is you are at affect to your current boundaries. Are you not enrolled in what they provide? If you aren’t enrolled in them you will be imprinting into others that same level of enrollment. They won’t respect your boundaries if you aren’t 100% he’ll yes this is my boundary. From win win win.
what is available to you from where your current boundaries are set?
from there are you a demand of yourself to keep those boundaries? If not no one else will be either and you may want to take another look at what Boundaries will have you completely enrolled empowered and a demand.
when you get there what daily (maybe even hourly) structure will you create to remind you, what for, around your boundaries? from empowered stand.
Cramming things into your day sounds overwhelming and disempowering and like you have to.
from I have to we will whip ourselves into action. What becomes possible when you “get to” instead of “have to”?!?
when you access your I get to in service of possibility/win win win. What do the people around you get when you stand for your boundaries?
when you start to do from all the possibility I see your power turned on more and more often.
To summarize what I see for you is to look at how you are being about it and not doing about it.
the doing is simple and easy. From an empowered being.
#never forget sliced bananas lol ?10 months, 4 weeks ago #240002
Love that, LKT. Yeah, I can hear that I’m reporting what is, not what I want. What I want doesn’t feel possible due to COVID (for instance, normally I would have a housekeeper doing all my cleaning, and my kids would be in school all day and not needing my attention), and I am willing to practice it anyway.
Here’s what I want my schedule to look like:
7:00 a.m. – 8:00 a.m.: Morning wakeup routine. Shower, coffee, kiss my kids on the forehead
8:00 a.m. – 9:00 a.m.: Spending time with my Sash team, getting them set up with their objectives for the day (can walk dog while on the phone)
9:00 a.m. – 10:00 a.m.: Coaching clients
10:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.: Productive work time (alternate Sash, lash.live, and AC)
1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.: Break/lunch/walk dog
2:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.: Work on my course and/or my book (could flip/flop with the productive work time)
5:00: Done for the day and have time for well being, cooking, being with my family, etc.
This would mean:
• No housework
• No homeschooling
• No live sales in the evening or doing last minute promos outside of work hours
• No accepting coaching calls at random times throughout the day (throws off my whole day)
• No unplanned meetings or phone calls outside of the relevant productivity hours10 months, 4 weeks ago #239959Laura Kline TaylorParticipant
Love this Nichole. Time. Ah yes. I hear myself in your share and am inclined to share. A little while ago I was listening to a book called I Know How She Does It by Laura VanderKam and I’m not through it (not enough time 😛 but some of her premise is there are 168hours in a week (if we are on board with 24 hrs/day and 7 days/wk) and I decided to create a time budget. Sort of like you have here, but from the time I want to spend or am committed to spending in each area. What I discovered was I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME. And I’d been generous with my estimations – I’d rounded up. I think I had 4 hrs to spare or something ha ha. What I noticed was that in that time budget I had budgeted no time for doubting myself, feeling bad about stuff, analyzing my approach or how well I’d done – it was just “do the thing” – the awareness gave me butterflies and I was inspired to be about my projects and my time in a new way. It’s a practice.
What I notice about your share is that it occurs as if you’re describing what’s on your plate and some of the descriptions seem like it’s an amount of time you want it to be and some is what it’s been in the past or is now or has to be. I’m curious what you might get out of filling your plate with everything you want to be there and nothing more or less.
You know how when people want to start budgeting their money they first track 3 months or so to see where their money is really going? I’m curious what you might discover……curious what else team has around this!
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