Venting in Place

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 16 total)
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  • #232933
     Nichole
    Participant

    Thank you, Jeff! Feel free to join me in venting. I know you wanna… 😜

    #232826
     Jeff Miller
    Participant

    Thank you so much for letting us in Nichole. I can actually feel the frustration through your words. Thank you for you who have been and who you are for your company, your mom, your entire family and everyone you connect with. You have such a giving heart. AND I am excited for what re-invention looks like for you in your life and in your business.

    #232720
     Nichole
    Participant

    I love that, Charlie!

    #232632
     Charlie Horn
    Participant

    “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously”

    #232621
     Nichole
    Participant

    We posted at the same time, Juliana. Thanks for your reply. I will likely be talking to you about this on Friday! 😝 Thanks for all the support. ❤️ You

    • This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by Nichole.
    #232620
     Nichole
    Participant

    Thanks, Charlie. The other thing I’m doing when this is over is come back to your hot tub.

    I know you get it. Both our moms had meta reactions to observation, although in different ways.

    Thanks for seeing me. You are so sweet. I really appreciate you, Charlie. You’re the best.

    #232619
     Juliana Sih
    Participant

    Nichole I see and hear you!

    I’m sorry that its been challenging with your mom. And I see you turning a corner. Thanks for having such a big heart and continuing to create the boundaries that service you! I have it that not care taking is both in service of you, your mom and the people in your life.

    Thanks you for sharing where you are at.

    Is there anything you need? Anyway we can support you?

    <3

    #232617
     Charlie Horn
    Participant

    Nichole,

    thank you for being with all of your moms stuff in addition to the rest of life right now.
    you deserve the support of your mom right now and always. She is the parent and it’s her job to be there for you. It breaks my heart that your mom is not in a place to be that support. I hear you and I see you from a place that is similar over here with my mom. You all may remember her reaction at the observation she came to. She is my teacher of how to be at affect.
    My sisters, brother and I have the discussion about  how we parent our parents. It’s ridiculous and perfect all at the same time. I have so much compassion and empathy for you and for your mom. Your service to your family friends and employees is vast and the consequences Are vast as well. You play big in life and I have it that your mom was part of the foundation for how vast your impact is.
    I really honor that part of you that sees the boundary to set and I’m proud of who you are being about it. I am here for you in any capacity you need me to be.

    #232595
     Nichole
    Participant

    I am feeling really frustrated today. I cried for the first time since all this COVID stuff has been happening. I was talking to Jocelyn about her UI benefits (because I reduced my staff to half their hours). They are finally kicking in for her, which means she has to be more strict about only working 20 hours per week. The thing is… With the extra $600/week that the CARES Act offers for unemployment, she and the rest of my employees are actually making more money to work half the hours. And look, I am happy that they are getting financially supported. But it’s just a wonky feeling to have the people who normally support me making more money to support me less. And that’s just the situation we’re in, so there’s nothing I can do about it. And I’m glad they are getting what they need. But I am super overwhelmed. It’s bringing up some feelings that I can’t quite put my finger on.

    Meanwhile… I am getting zero support from my mom. And I don’t want it. Sunday I thought I was going to have to call the cops because she wouldn’t stop following me around screaming. She is so emotionally unhinged, and when she gets that way she takes it out on me. She’s been having screaming fits, yelling and cursing at me and the kids. She has all these grievances about how I’ve apparently made her feel “invisible” over the last couple of years because I don’t give her enough gratitude and attention (this is why all her life’s frustrations are pointed at me right now). Despite the fact that I’ve spent two years providing a home and money for her to live, took her to many trips to the hospital, and paid for her rehab which saved her life, she feels that I haven’t done enough for her.

    It hit me today why I have this habit of rescuing people and doing all the things for all the people… My parents trained me to believe that I should have nothing. They started taking from me when I was a kid. I would babysit and do things to earn money and they would take it. My mom still to this day tries to piggyback all of my success, but then tears me down for “working too much” and not being a good enough person/mom/daughter.

    I figured out the reason I have been having issues with my wifi at home is because they moved the modem so that they could get a better connection in their cottage in the back of the house. Because god forbid they pay for their own wifi. Or their own anything.

    The burdens I’ve been carrying taking care of everyone else is culminating now as I find myself in a situation with no support and with everyone complaining to me about what they’re no longer getting from me. And honestly, as bad as it feels, it also feels good. Because I’m not going to have it go this way anymore. The nanosecond this thing is over, everyone is getting kicked out! I am totally restructuring my life and my business. So that’s exciting.

    But right now it all feels really hard.

    #231162
     Charlie Horn
    Participant

    There was a time when anything that resembled conflict would have me hiding. Now I’m like…..cool there’s some stuff goin down over there. And sometimes I still hide 🙃 It’s so good to trust that on the other side of the stuff is something beautiful and real and raw and genuine. Sabrina, you gifted me with a declaration of lifetime commitment to our friendship last year during relationship module. That changed my life. It gave me a grounding that generated breakthroughs in trust that weren’t previously available to me. It’s so good Nichole to trust where you are at (or maybe where at earlier) is just a authentic expression of your truth in the moment. Our truth is our reality. And from there it is absolutely worthy of expressing. Thanks for letting us see you in this place. What I have for you is that there is a wise guide inside you that is looking for something. What is that something that you need? I can’t remember who said it but there is a request in every complaint. Will you find the real request here. I know what your request is with Ryan and I have a sneaking suspicion there is something deeper. 😊
    I want to acknowledge you for being and doing all you are right now. Man, you are up in the stuff and you deserve some support. You have employees and kiddos and businesses and your own needs all in the ring right now wrestling around. I hope you get your needs met this weekend and have some you time set up. You deserve it.

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